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Spurious Awards Of The Week

Table-stroking Teen Wolf stars, First Class PR stunts and the world's biggest (canine) Firefly fan

Most strokable table of the week

The stars of Teen Wolf and The Secret Circle know a good microfibre-suede table cover when they feel one.

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Desperate PR tie in of the week

We understand it’s difficult to come up with new and interesting angles to sell a story to an increasingly cynical and bored media. However, the PR team that came up with the idea to merge X-Men with the exciting world of, erm, rail travel should probably have their expense account rescinded. Actor Jason Flemyng (Azazel in this year’s film) marked its release on Blu-ray and DVD by opening a special "First Class" lounge at Victoria Station. See what they did there? Us too, and it makes us weep.

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Political Correctness of the Week

We learned in this week's Vampire Diaries that, according to Bonnie’s grimoire, ghosts are now known by the non-insulting term “veiled matter”.

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Potential Bromance of the Week

Desperate for Agent Lee to meet his alternate reality self? You’re not alone. In an interview this week Fringe executive producer Jeff Pinkner is equally keen to double the amount of Seth Gabel on our screens. He said: “Two Agent Lees are like chocolate and peanut butter… somehow they just belong together. And, you won’t have to wait much longer.”

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Flirting Opportunity of the Week

We know the world's been ending and life's all a bit fraught, but finally this week Glenn meets a hot woman around his own age. Getting her to open up about her life in a cosy tete-a-tete? Good plan. The cosy tete-a-tete being about people who had died or been turned into walkers? Less smooth. Must try harder Glenn, must try harder.

More Spurious Awards on the next page...

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Halloween Costume of the Week

There’s been an influx of cute pictures of people in Halloween costumes this week, and Buffy alumni and all round lovely couple Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof taking their young daughter trick or treating dressed as a pumpkin was an early highlight. But then we saw this picture of Onyx the corgi dressed as Serenity, and everything else faded from view. Shiny.

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Contact Sport of the Week

Forget the Rugby World cup, the geek contact sport of choice, it turns out, is Quidditch. Next week 2,000 players from 100 teams will descend on New York City to play for The Quidditch World Cup . Obviously there’s no flying (repeat after us: Harry Potter isn’t real), but apparently the game, a cross between rugby, dodgeball and tag, is exciting enough that last year more than 15,000 spectators came out to enjoy a bottle of butterbeer and see which team managed to snatch the snitch. Brilliant.

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Empathy Award of the Week

A Mancunian geek hit the headlines this week for snapping and brutally murdering his wife after she smashed up his Star Wars collection. We can’t help feeling that this comment , left at the end of The Metro ’s coverage of the story perpetuates that stereotype of geeks somehow being socially inept…

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"Get them geeky while they’re young" Award of the week

Forget all those boring pictures of farm animals and xylophones, getting to grips with the ABC courtesy of Luke, Chewie and friends gives the younglings a good grounding of what’s important in life. Fab. View the full sheet or buy a print for the bedroom of your geek-in-waiting.

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Trying to Make Something Simpler but Actually Making it More Complicated Infographic of the Week

It’s all a bit complicated (and frankly bordering on time travel Jeremy Kyle) but the Doctor’s relationship with River Song is one of the most intriguing – and enduring – of Nu Who so far. But who hasn’t got a bit confused with all the back and forth timey wimey stuff? This handy infographic tries to unravel things. We’ll leave it up to you to decide if it manages it. There’s a lot of lines back and forth in a way that might make heads hurt, but hey, every little helps, and it might stop the naysayers going on about plot holes. But beware if you haven’t seen to the end of the latest series, as River herself would say, there are spoilers…