Toppermost of the Poppermost

Ever wanted to wrest control of the charts from the usual gyrating meat-puppets? Here's your chance. Doctor Who fans across the known galaxies are currently mobilising in a bid to lob Love Don't Roam - the Northern Soul-flavoured ditty from this year's Christmas special - into the upper reaches of what our ancestors knew as "The Hit Parade."

If you want to join in this piece of system-subverting digital agit-prop, the campaign organisers recommend that you simply head to your local legal download service and buy (for around 79p) 'Love Don't Roam' by Neil Hannon (yes, the tuneful toff from The Divine Comedy). Now that the Top 40 chart rules have been changed to allow downloads in without all that nasty bother of actual, physical objects to hold and stroke, there's every chance of the song ending up in the charts on Sunday. Which would, at least, make us smile.