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Spurious Awards Of The Week

Poster Of The Week

Now, this is an X-Men sequel we want to see… A real Days Of Future Past . Sid James is Wolverine and the idea of Charles Hawtrey as a camp Nightcrawler has us chuckling all the way to the Danger Room. And we bet Rogue doesn’t call Bernard Bresslaw Colossus for nothing, fnarr, fnarr. A work of warped art from Chris Weston .

Colin Baker Cosplay Of The Week

Fringe ’s new Oracle, Simone, has the kind of scary dress sense we haven’t seen since the Sixth Doctor was on our screen…

Sing Star Of The Week

At first, hearing Misfits’ frankly psycho probation officer sing the opening lines to Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s “The Power Of Love” (“I’ll protect you from the Hooded Claw… Keep the vampires from your door”) was downright creepy. We’d pity the Hooded Claw and Dracula if it ever it ever did come to a fight. But as the song went on… blimey, he has a great pair of lungs on him. Not quite the voice of an angel, as Abby puts it… more a devil who’s called in his claim to that blue singer he met at a crossroads once.

Face Of The Week

We’re not sure if Claire in Haven is pulling an, “Damn, my secret’s just been discovered” face or if she’s just been given a wedgie. She just narrowly beats Caroline in Vampire Diaries who seems to auditioning for Made In Chelsea…

Quote Of The Week

Ian Somerhalder on the neverending love triangle in The Vampire Diaries : "Elena loves both of these guys, and they love her dearly. I mean, they'd literally die for her. And one of them probably may end up one day doing that. It's powerful. If it is Damon who ends up dying for Elena, the point right before he dies, hopefully he looks up into the eyes of his killer or Elena or the camera, straight down the barrel and says, ‘You had to drag it out this long?’” [via Blastr ]

Nightmare Of The Week

What if Game Of Thrones were on the CW? Shudder.

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Charmer Of The Week

Derek Jacobi is rapidly becoming a Spurious Awards regular. Having announced his ambition to get a role in the new Star Wars trilogy a few weeks back, he’s this week been charming his way into Doctor Who fans’ hearts on BBC2 quiz show Eggheads . In the chatty bit before they get down to some serious quizzing, host Dermot Murnaghan nattered to him about his love of narrating In The Night Garden . “So that’s the ultimate accolade?” said Murnaghan. “Not I Claudius and things like that in the past?” “The only way is down after In The Night Garden ,” replied Sir Derek, before suddenly remembering, “Oh, only one thing beats it. I was the Master in Doctor Who !” Okay, he’s probably only being populist for a bit of lowbrow afternoon TV, but it’s clear he still loved playing the part. Or maybe he’s just reminding everyone, “Hey, I can do sci-fi!” in the hope that helps the Star Wars gig come about.

Trailer Of The Week

Because somebody demanded it: “An 11-hour New Zealand tourism commercial with walking… roaming… hiking… more walking… and strolling.”

T-Shirts Of The Week

Skeleton spaceships. All available from .

Quickest Mockbuster Of The Week

Forget Pacific Rim . This is the giant robot versus giant monster flick we want to see. Available as a print from .

Pun That’s Defeated Us Of The Week

It’s a TARDIS PC. It’s very cool. But for the life of us we can’t get from PC to Police Constables without a gag as convoluted as a Steven Moffat time travel plot. The Scan TARDIS is now available to order from Scan Computers with a variety of specifications. What we really want to know, though, is does the light flash when it’s accessing a disc?

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Seasonal Spurious Award Of The Week

Ready for when Guillermo del Toro wants to make Arctic Rim . [via Flickr ]

Massacre Of The Week

Most Bizarre Spin-Off Merchandise Of The Week

Yep, you can actually buy this officially-licenced Minecraft torch

Real Live Gaming Action Of The Week

The game may not exactly be troubling the zeitgeist at the moment, but this Crash Bandicoot skit is still great fun.

Crazy Teeth Of The Week

That must be Photoshopped – those teeth are too white and shiny to be in that state. Still clever, though. [via Buzzfeed ]

Honorary Portal Award Of The Week

This week’s honorary Portal Award comes from an unexpected source. While watching the new trailer for director Guillermo del Toro’s Pacific Rim we were unnerved to hear what sounded like the Portal ’s GLaDOS voicing an Artificial Intelligence. There’s a reason that. Del Toro is a fan of the game and specifically cast the voice of GLaDOS, Ellen McLain, as the voice of the AI in his film. The similarities don’t end there: she’s even had her voice treated to sound as similar to GLaDOS as possible. (They also use the world “portal” in the trailer.) Which is a great in-joke, but also rather distracting if you know the game well enough. It’s a bit like hiring Anthony Daniels to voice a robot in a film that’s not Star Wars , and expecting the audience not to think of Star Wars every time it speaks.

Dave Golder
Dave Golder

Dave is a TV and film journalist who specializes in the science fiction and fantasy genres. He's written books about film posters and post-apocalypses, alongside writing for SFX Magazine for many years.