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Most ruthlessly punishing indie games

These demonically difficult freeware titles will devour your soul

Words: Nathan Meunier, GamesRadar US

Some people make videogames because it’s something they love. Some people make videogames to gain fame and fortune. And some people make videogames because they want you to suffer... horribly. Crawling forth from deep crevices in the earth, a handful of particularly sadistic indie game developers have emerged to hunt for fresh souls to feed their unholy engines of destruction. These depraved, pale creatures take delight in the pain their creations will inevitably inflict upon you and have masterminded these games to produce the maximum amount of anguish possible. They crave your torment so badly they’ll even let you play for free.

With no money at stake, the punishment-delivering capabilities of these games have been left to grow unchecked. For your masochistic delight, we present to you a twisted menagerie of indie freeware designed to destroy your spirit and possibly your keyboard. These gaming abominations want to snap you in half, eat your innards, and regurgitate them back onto your corpse. You’ve been warned. Now go play!

I Wanna Be The Guy

No. You absolutely do not want to be The Guy. The Guy repeatedly gets disemboweled in a spray of pixelated bloody mist if even so much as the nail on his tiny pinky finger gently brushes up against a spike or other deadly obstacle. Believe us: You don’t want to be him. I Wanna Be The Guy is a psychotic amalgamation of visual and audio elements from classic retro NES games of days long past stitched together into something warped and insidious.

You’ll attempt to guide the titular hero along the path of good-guy righteousness…until that path comes alive with spikes, lasers, man-eating apples, and other hellish implements bent on ending your puny existence. Getting to the second screen is a challenge in itself. Venturing further beyond that point quickly becomes an exercise in absurdity.

Download: http://kayin.pyoko.org/iwbtg/

Precision

Momentum (or lack thereof) is what makes Precision such a bastardly game to tackle. There are no foes to battle, no power-ups to meddle around with, and no health bars to be concerned about. Physics is your only enemy. More precisely, the sinister physics implemented by the game’s maker is your only enemy. The goal is to simply run and jump from rooftop-to-rooftop in each level, collecting green bottles along the way, and climb down a ladder at the end to proceed without falling into the abyss below.

The controls and movement physics are ironically designed to be anything but precise, which is why you’ll replay some levels over and over dozens of times before completing them. Proper jump timing, carefully gauged momentum, and a good memory are the only way to persevere. But death and profane utterances come fast and furiously.

Download: http://www.yoyogames.com/games/launch/37405


 
35 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Danomeon  - 4 months 9 days ago 
Oh god I remember I want to be the guy, I couldn't get past theecond screen.
Danomeon  - 4 months 9 days ago 
Correction: "The second screen".

Sorry, I was excited about being the first. Except I didn't admit it. Until Now.

I'm an idiot.
TheElusiveMongoose  - 4 months 9 days ago 
How about The Unfair Platformer? ^^ It's a flash game not an indy game, but it is so packed ith booby traps... just try it ^^

http://www.kongregate.com/games/Eggy/the-unfair-platformer
Over1imit  - 4 months 9 days ago 
It's okay, Danomeon *pat pat*
The World's Hardest Game used to be the 'big thing' at our school. I don't think anyone got past the wheel.
I'm sure these games would kill A LOT of time...and patience.
Yar  - 4 months 9 days ago 
I love IWBTG!!!

Admittedly, it's ridiculously hard if you've never played it, but all the old school references make it awesome. Mario, Megaman, Metroid, Zelda, Castlevania... even Duck Tales and Mike Tyson's Punch Out are on there!

I've never been prouder to say I am the Guy...
Cyberninja  - 4 months 9 days ago 
not touching any of these games and metroid has a new villan because my recaptcha is sister brain
Pepsuber88  - 4 months 9 days ago 
I remember passing the wheel in the worlds hardest game, it took me 48 tries to figure out there was enough space between each wheel to stop. The hardest game: Bowman obstacle shooting. RecAPTCHA: tral fudges
Corsair89  - 4 months 9 days ago 
I'm definitely avoiding these games because I would get so pissed off at them after dieing so many times.
elchetos  - 4 months 9 days ago 
That only shows how hardcore gamers often seek the most masochistic challenges we can get our hands on. I remember IWTBTG when it just came out... Even after watching the video of the playthrough of the first level I couldn't get past the 3rd screen. Oh, those good times...
chrisda  - 4 months 9 days ago 
It felt so good beating I wanna be the guy. I can't remember how many hours i put into the final boss.
Snarf  - 4 months 9 days ago 
I downloaded I Wanna Be The Guy and it took my friend and I took 2 hours to reach the first of like 8 bosses, Mike Tyson. So I bet my friend that he couldn't get past the first 2 screens. He told me that the game sounded like the easiest thing ever since its just jumping and shooting. He quit the game fairly quickly.
civver  - 4 months 9 days ago 
I suppose you people playing these games are having fun. I know I won't.
purpleshirt  - 4 months 9 days ago 
I loved i wana be the guy
dweller  - 4 months 9 days ago 
Wow. Bite the bullet is so awesome. A parade of bullets with some slo-mo has exploded my mind.
ryno  - 4 months 9 days ago 
what about Don't shoot the puppy
bmrskate  - 4 months 9 days ago 
Don't forget Kirby's Dreamland in all of those I Want To Be the Guy cameos! Real great childhood memories of one of my favorite masochistic crazy hard games.

Not saying I'm a masochist....well....maybe I am a little heh. After playing neo-classic games like Prinny: Can I Really Be the Hero? and Megaman 9, yeah I think I can honestly admit that.
bmrskate  - 4 months 9 days ago 
*I Wanna Be the Guy. Damn my good grammar lol
theschwartzb  - 4 months 9 days ago 
These games looks soul-destroyingly difficult.
Kaz993  - 4 months 9 days ago 
I beat I wanna be the guy. It took... forever. I got so pissed. I broke at least two keyboards and shouted WHAT THE FUCK so loud my neighbors complained. No joke.
dreamgor  - 4 months 8 days ago 
"sees i wanna be the guy" WAHHHHH the torture device from hell "jumps out from closest mountain" i got to the shy guy who shoots bullets ... even with watching multiple playthroughs i can't nail it...
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