Robert Downey Jr
The Singer: Former hellraiser turned box-office mega-draw Robert Downey Jr.
Best Known For: Smirking and smashing his way through two Iron Man films, propelling himself back to the top of the A-list in the process.
Sounds Like: Someone doing Bruce Springsteen at a karaoke night, with some “moody” piano tinkling thrown in for good measure.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “Give me your body, won’t you give me your sweet soul.”
Typical Amazon Review: “I let go and sink into the complexities that lie at the heart of his music. When it ends, and there is only the tap of rain on my window, I feel as if I have visited with Downey for a while in his own beautifully human universe.”
Jennifer Love Hewitt
The Singer: Chesty former scream queen who recorded the first of her four albums (yes, four) when she was just twelve years old. Aaaaah.
Best Known For: Dodging a hook-handed maniac in I Know What You Did Last Summer and pouting around in that Enrique Iglesias video.
Sounds Like: Sheryl Crow. It’s pretty vapid stuff but she hasn’t got a bad voice on her.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “If I just trust the stillness, somehow it won’t hurt so bad.” You said it Jenny.
Typical Amazon Review: “This is simply one of the best albums I own (out of 62 at the moment, so it IS tough competition) I bought this CD in March and there has not been one day where i haven't played it AT LEAST twice.”
Danny Aiello
The Singer: Gangster-movie regular Danny Aiello, who you might recognise as the titular father from Madonna’s Papa Don’t Preach video.
Best Known For: His role as pizza-vendor Sal Frangione in Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing .
Sounds Like: A rat-pack style crooner. You can just imagine him spinning a cane in a hotel lounge…
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “Can’t I pretend that I’m locked in the bend of your embrace?” No Danny, you can’t. Now leave her alone!
Typical Amazon Review: “I am so glad to see that Mr. Aiello is keeping the art of crooning alive and am looking forward to his future CD releases. I highly recommend this CD for anyone who appreciates the great art of crooning.”
Kevin Bacon
The Singer: When he’s taking a break from the day job, Kevin Bacon is one half of The Bacon Brothers, a guitar-toting double act formed with older brother Michael.
Best Known For: Being in so many movies, he can link any two Hollywood actors together in six simple steps. Our personal favourites include Tremors , The River Wild and Mystic River . Just saying…
Sounds Like: A slice of prime Americana. Three Doors Down spring to mind somehow…
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “Candles everywhere…but I don’t like flowers.” Eh?
Typical Amazon Review: “Talk about a quantum leap! The Bacon Brothers have been a decent band from their first album forward, but this new one is at a different level from the others.”
Scarlett Johansson
The Singer: To be quite honest the gorgeous Scarlett could sing us the phone-book and we’d still be mesmerised. Not by her voice you understand…
Best Known For: Her career-making performance in Lost In Translation , in which she plays the sweetly troubled Charlotte.
Sounds Like: Tom Waits, if he were a softly-spoken young woman. Scarlett’s Anywhere I Lay My Head album is a collection of Waits cover versions!
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “When I met you, I didn't know what to do. I was tired , I was hungry, I cried.
Typical Amazon Review: “She has a breathy, light voice that is great in the upper register. Think of her as a growlier Kirsten Dunst."
Kevin Costner
The Singer: Sandy-haired old stager, soon to become Pa Kent in Zack Snyder’s upcoming Superman movie.
Best Known For: His Oscar-winning turn in Dances With Wolves won him more acclaim, but we’ll always associate him with the thinking man’s weepie, Field Of Dreams .
Sounds Like: Guess what? It’s another middle-aged actor doing a Springsteen impression. Where can we buy the album?
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “I got a radio in my Chevrolet, been playing rock and roll just to stay awake.”
Typical Amazon Review: “A very pleasant individual who asked me what I thought of the music when I handed him a copy of Robin Hood Prince of Thieves to autograph. I admit I was a bit awed that he asked me- a simple fan- for my opinion.”
Christopher Lee
The Singer: Hammer veteran Christopher Lee, otherwise known as cinema’s scariest man. Would you tell him his songs suck? Thought not.
Best Known For: His old-school movie monsters, although a certain audience will probably know him best as either Count Dooku or Saruman.
Sounds Like: He sounds like Christopher Lee. Seriously, the guy is unique.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “Come hither to my bedside. The hour at which I must retire is drawing ever near.”
Typical Amazon Review: “For me, the first thing that comes to mind is his remarkably distinctive voice; a deep baritone that rings with the authority and gravitas that could make a mere mortal man tremble in his shoes.”
Dan Aykroyd
The Singer: Big-screen funnyman Aykroyd, teaming up here with Jim Belushi to deliver an album of “big music”. Nice.
Best Known For: Playing the loveable Ray Stantz in ‘80s mega-hit Ghostbusters . Although his Blues Brothers turn probably runs it close.
Sounds Like: If you’ve seen Blues Brothers you should have a fairly good idea of what to expect here…Big Jim more than measures up to his brother in the singing stakes.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “A long time ago, I loved and lost, Mr. Blues walks up and says, ‘I’m your boss.’”
Typical Amazon Review: “Cheap at twice the price; buy anything with the name Aykroyd on it. He's a dyed in the wool bluesman.”
Alyssa Milano
The Singer: Milano has recorded an impressive four studio albums in a music career that began when she was just seventeen. Granted, said albums were only commercially released in Japan, but still…
Best Known For: Playing Arnie’s daughter in Commando , and coming over all witchy for TV’s Charmed .
Sounds Like: A cross between The Buggles and Blondie. And not in a good way.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “I couldn’t find my own way, couldn’t tell the night from the day.” Gee, adolescence sure is tough…
Typical Amazon Review: “I am a big fan of Alyssa Milano and listen to her CD everyday!! It really helps me to come down if I get upset about something!!”
Jeff Bridges
The Singer: One of the less surprising entries on this list given Bridges’ superlative performance as Crazy Heart ’s Bad Blake. The man has quite the singing voice!
Best Known For: Depending on your age, take your pick from Kevin Flynn, The Dude or Rooster Cogburn.
Sounds Like: Somewhere in between Eric Clapton and Michael McDonald. We prefer him as Bad Blake to be honest.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “I’m looking at the Earth from a million miles away, I see a tiny speck of dust, twinkling little spot of floating light.” Woah, that’s deep man.
Typical Amazon Review: “Jeff Bridges is somethin' else! All human and, yet, distinctly transcendent. He ploughs through fields of human hurt and draws together healing for dirty souls.”
Jeff Daniels
The Singer: Daniels songs are supposedly written to mark key moments in his life, with two albums in the bag so far. One of these is called Grandfather’s Hat . For some reason, this makes us smile.
Best Known For: Let’s be honest, it’s when he gets his tongue frozen in Dumb & Dumber isn’t it?
Sounds Like: Your run of the mill country and western crooner. He’s got some nice bluegrass guitar skills though.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “You were there when I was falling, you were there when I fell in love.” It’s not quite “you had me at hello,” but it’s not bad…
Typical Amazon Review: “We heard Jeff Daniels sing and tell jokes, in our home town. So we wanted to order this CD since we bought a different one at the Show. He is an awesome entertainer!!”
Corey Feldman
The Singer: Former child-actor turned New Jack Swing practitioner. Jesus that looks an unappealing combination when you see it written down…
Best Known For: His ‘80s heyday, in which he starred in seminal coming-of-age movie Stand By Me , and teen vampire classic The Lost Boys .
Sounds Like: Third album Former Child Star sees Feldman descend into thrash metal shoutiness. Seek out the audio samples on Amazon. It truly is awful.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “I feel like a shark, cause I don’t look too cool when I dive on my rug.” Obviously this would only work in a film about mental decline…
Typical Amazon Review: “Help me I think i need a shower, I have been soiled! Where's my mommy, I need a hug, the bad man wont stop wailing!”
Edward Furlong
The Singer: One-time Terminator prey turned drug-addled police-baiter.
Best Known For: His role as John Connor is certainly the most iconic, although his performance in American History X is probably the best on his CV.
Sounds Like: It sounds like someone taking a blowtorch to Kermit’s nether-regions. He can’t sing for shit.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “Dreaming of kissing you and holding you tight, nothing else matters when you’re near me.”
Typical Amazon Review: “My daughter who was 11 at the time...cried on Christmas morning when she opened this CD of Edward Furlong…her tears of joy were PRICELESS!!!”
Robert Mitchum
The Singer: Strong silent type with exactly the sort of laid-back, baritone singing voice you’d expect from his laconic screen presence.
Best Known For: His terrifying performance as The Preacher in The Night of the Hunter . He’s the scariest man of God we’ve ever seen!
Sounds Like: A bargain basement Johnny Cash.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: "I may be losing face but that’s all well and good…it’s my face.” Who’s going to argue?
Typical Amazon Review: “A side of Robert Mitchum you've seldom seen. My mother-in-law rocks the house with this. A must listen for all fans.”
Jack Palance
The Singer: Coal-miner, boxer, actor…singer? Is there anything this man can’t do?
Best Known For: Either his Oscar-winning turn in City Slickers , or as cold-blooded gunslinger Jack Wilson in Shane .
Sounds Like: A watered down Jerry Lee Lewis. If we’re being generous…
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “You said you were leaving tomorrow, today would be our last day, I said there would be no sorrow, and laughed when you walked away.”
Typical Amazon Review: “Nobody's going to confuse Palance with Pavarotti, but if you like your vocals a little rough around the edges, give this a try.”
Julie Delpy
The Singer: Ethereal French beauty Julie Delp, and her ethereally beautiful singing voice.
Best Known For: The Three Colours trilogy as well as Richard Linklater’s Sunset and Sunrise films.
Sounds Like: A slightly less soulful Nina Simone.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “You’re the one saying I need some serious, serious fixing, but who the hell are you to tell me what to do?”
Typical Amazon Review: “Julie Delpy is amazing and her music is semi-hypnotic. I am easily dazzled by Europeans and hints of accents.”
Crispin Glover
The Singer: Glover’s music is a predictably bizarre collection of assorted oddities, including a falsetto rendition of Charles Manson’s I’ll Never Say Never To Always and the excellently named Clowny Clown Clown .
Best Known For: Playing nerdy peeping-tom George McFly in Back To The Future .
Sounds Like: The Pixies, if they’d forgotten how to write music and were reduced to discordant wailing.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “I was walking on the ground, I didn’t make a sound when I turned around and I saw a clown.” Are you listening Pixar?
Typical Amazon Review: “Yes, this CD is ‘weird’ but it's not weird just for shock value. It's supposed to make you think. PLEASE take the time to really listen to it, it does have a message. It helps if you read the back of the CD.”
Ryan Gosling
The Singer: Gosling and his buddy Zach Shields are Dead Man’s Bones, whose self-titled album is a feature-length collaboration with the Silverlake Conservatory Children’s Choir. Groovy.
Best Known For: Hi award-baiting performances in independent dramas, most recently in the wonderful Blue Valentine .
Sounds Like: They don’t sound too dissimilar to Seattle-based folksters Fleet Foxes, with a touch of Arcade Fire in there too. We like!
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “My suitcase is packed with all your heartbeats, so I walk to their sound.” Sounds like something a villain might say in a children’s horror movie.
Typical Amazon Review: “Imagine yourself in a old, spooky house. The smell of a fading beauty's perfume mixed with old wood tingle your nostrils as you creak up the old stairs. Suddenly, you hear the echo of a children's choir that makes your blood freeze.”
Richard Harris
The Singer: Legendary hellraiser, feted actor, and occasional musician Richard Harris. A man with many strings to his bow.
Best Known For: Too many to choose from, but his performance in Cromwell springs to mind, as does his turn as the grizzled English Bob in Unforgiven .
Sounds Like: Some of Harris’s more melancholic vocals have a hint of Guy Garvey about them.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “If you must leave my life, consider every part…be sure you have your heart”
Typical Amazon Review: “Movie-like and haunting ... never anything like it sonically before or after that I've heard.”
Milla Jovovich
The Singer: Jovovich has carved out a successful secondary career as a singer of Ukranian folk songs, into which she injects some more modern pop sensibilities. That might sound awful, but it’s actually not that bad!
Best Known For: Blowing away zombies in the splatter-tastic Resident Evil series.
Sounds Like: She’s been compared to the likes of Tori Amos and Kate Bush. That might be stretching it a little in terms of quality, but there are certainly similarities.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “I don’t know how to speak to you, I don’t know how to trust you, I don’t know how to live for you, I don’t know how to love you.” Sounds like the relationship’s in trouble to us…
Typical Amazon Review: “In a time where almost anything can be called "music", here is a CD that definitely is much more than that!”
Minnie Driver
The Singer: Driver is no fly-by-night music enthusiast. She used to be in a band named Puff, Rocks & Brown. Those are drug references! She must be a proper musician then…
Best Known For: Simpering sweetly opposite Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting .
Sounds Like: Her whimsical, breathy vocals sound a little like Zero 7. Remember them?
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “Is this a lasting treasure or just a moment pleasure? Can I believe the magic of your sight?”
Typical Amazon Review: “This is the second time I bought this album. I lost the original in a house fire and I like it so much I had to replace it.”
Steven Seagal
The Singer: Ponytail-sporting martial arts enthusiast Steven Seagal, who enjoys playing a guitar lick nearly as much as he does cracking a windpipe.
Best Known For: Playing counter-terrorist expert Casey Ryback in Under Siege , and squaring off against Gary Busey.
Sounds Like: He probably wouldn’t thank us for this, but Songs From The Crystal Cave sounds remarkably like John Mayer!
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “I was invisible, untouchable…would you call my name?”
Typical Amazon Review: “To the sounds of Mr.Seagal I was able to shed my weight and began taking daily showers. I now entertain several women per week, sometimes even several per day. I am making over $5000 a week stuffing envelopes from home.”
Jason Schwartzman
The Singer: Impressively-eyebrowed indie darling Schwartzman has an impressive musical background, having played drums for Phantom Planet before founding solo-project Coconut Records. Great name…
Best Known For: Playing precocious teen Max Fischer in Wes Anderson’s Rushmore .
Sounds Like: Breezy, sun-kissed pop-rock, not a million miles away from Weezer.
Lyric That Could Be Dialogue: “I don’t ever want to hear you say anything, ‘cause you’ve been nighttiming baby. It’s starting to show.”
Typical Amazon Review: “This album was in more ways than one amazing… Nighttiming is a feel good album that gives me tingles every time I listen to it.
