A version of this article originally posted on this site on March 12, 2013.
Will the God of War return?
Rumors are pointing towards a new God of War game hitting the PlayStation 4, and it's only a matter of time before we know exactly what it's going to entail. Some believe Kratos will throw his Blades of Chaos at Persian gods, while others argue that he's going to be pulling the heads off of the likes of Ra in Egypt. We're holding out hope for one set in the modern era, but we don't know if that's in the cards.
Either way, there's one thing everyone agrees on: Greece has to go. We've assembled a list of gods we want to slay in future God of War games to start getting excited for the potential sequel.
Some rumors point towards Kratos slaying different members of Persian mythology, so we've fished up (pun intended, but you won't get it until later) some immortals that the God of War would have some fun slaying.
The Contender: A monster with three mouths, six eyes, and three heads, cunning, strong, and demonic. Man, once you start using demonic as an adjective you know theres an issue. This guy is pure evil: he possesses kings to destroy their kingdom, he cuts heroes in half with a saw, and lives in an inaccessible fortress so even if you wanted to settle your beef with him you couldnt.
The Fight: Because youre Kratos, you make your way into this inaccessible fortress by means of slaying everything in your path. The fight is reminisce of Hercules and the Hydra, with you slicing off those heads one by one until youve turned Zahhak into Pure.
The Finisher: We believe in Karma, and so Kratos takes a decorative saw off the wall and uses it to slice Zahhak in half. Because screw you dude.
The Contender: Depending on who you talk to, Aka Manahs name can either mean Evil Mind, Evil Purpose, Evil Thinking, or Evil Intention. Common thread: evil. Aka Manah is so evil, in fact, that his name became a descriptor, with people of ancient Persian times using it to mean, I done messed up bad. In one of the most famous iterations of Aka Manah, he poses ninety-nine questions to weaken a prophet's conviction. Pop quizzing = pure evil.
The Fight: Half puzzle, half fight, Aka Manah will try his darndest to confuse you with illusions and tricks. But once you fight through those, youre left to brawl with his true form: a man with the head of an elephant, a mouth of tusks instead of teeth with long hair and blue eyes.
The Finisher: Kratos rips out Aka Manahs tusks and eviscerates the God with them. Obviously.
The Contender: God of darkness, the eternal destroyer of good, personification and creator of evil, bringer of death and disease. Angra Mainyu introduced the frost in winter, the heat in summer, and everything else thats awful. You know when youre sitting on your couch and its, like, 80 degrees outside and youre like, man, Im just uncomfortably hot right now. You can thank Angra Mainyu for that. But in all seriousness this guy is all the worst parts of Hades, Lucifer, and Abaddon.
The Fight: Angra Mainyu is said to be readying an army of darkness to sweep the land of the holy. That means that Kratos will have to slog through thousands of underlings before getting to the big guy himself. Mainyu will also be a few hundred feet tall which Kratos will have to climb because reasons.
The Finisher: At the end of the fight Kratos is blessed with the divine spirit of the holy Gods. He climbs to Angra Mainyus head and, using his arm which has transformed into a Holy Drill, bores down through the skull, brains, mouth, throat, heart, lungs, liver, stomach, bowels, kneecaps and out through the feet of Angra Mainyu. Ouch.
The Contender: So check this immortal asshole out. He is the Persian demon of death whom, its said, no human has escaped. How does he do that? Well after you die, as youre rising to heaven, he fishes you out of the sky with a noose. Are you serious? Hes not even the God of death, hes just a demon whos taken it upon himself to make the afterlife miserable for everyone.
The Fight: After a brief stint in the Persian underworld, Kratos decides its time to go back to the land of the living. All of a sudden a noose loops around his ankle and pulls him back down. Thus begins the long-range fight of Kratos throwing boulders/his blades all while trying to avoid that dreaded noose.
The Finisher: Who doesnt love irony? Kratos rips the noose from Asto Vidatus grasp and uses it to pull the demon apart limb from limb.
Norse mythology is teeming with warmongers and trouble starters; many could give Kratos a run for his orbs and players an exciting change of pace. From lords of thunder to defenders of Asgard, there are a tons of worthy candidates to toss in Kratos' path. For example...
The Fight: The showdown takes place in mountains of Jtunheimr, land of giants, where Kratos ascends its highest peaks while dodging falling debris and hammer blows form Magni up above.
The Finisher: Kratos rips Mjolnir from Magni's broken hands, winds up with the twirl of the DualShock analog stick, and smacks Magni off the mountain peak.
The Fight: Drawn to the ghostly halls of Valhalla, Kratos meets Odin in all his shape-shifting, spear-chucking, beard-whipping glory. Between up-close scuffles, Odin retreats to the rafters to summon enemies from Kratos' past who have been lurking within Valhalla in anticipation of the Spartan's arrival.
The Finisher: Kratos snaps off a golden shield from Valhalla's roof and uses it to shove Odin inch-by-inch into the hall's mighty oven.
The Fight: Kratos stumbles across the Bitfrost as the legendary bridge cracks and warps with every blow of Heimdall's mighty horn.
The Finisher: Kratos first spears Heimdall with a jagged fragment of the Bitfrost. Before the god can get back on his feet, Kratos recovers Gjallarhorn, takes a deep breath, and incinerates the god with one long note.