Oct 22, 2007

The hard part's over. You've finished every mission. You've collected every power up. You've beaten every boss. You've saved the world and probably a few princesses to boot. Now all you want is your reward - some long awaited, richly deserved resolution.

You won't find it here.

No, these seven games have that other kind of ending. The kind that mocks you, disappoints you, angers you and just plain baffles you all at once. The kind that answers nothing but adds a maddening amount of mystery to everything. The kind that leaves you staring at the screen, dumb founded, waiting for the real conclusion to begin. The kind that could only have been written in a bar, an executive boardroom or some developer's dream journal.

In other words, these are endings that make you go, WHAT?! THE?! F--... well, you get the idea.

Painfully Obvious Warning: SPOILERS AHEAD.

OUT OF THIS WORLD (1990)

The ending.

Where to begin? The last mission takes place in a steamy alien bathhouse, overflowing with naked extraterrestrial ass. The hero wins the battle, only to trip and fall in a hole. Some guy rescues him and then kicks him in the face, possibly killing him. Next, the final boss is defeated through a breathtaking combination of crawling and lever pulling. Finally - and here's where things get weird - a pterodactyl shows up and saves the day. Cue elevator music. End scene.

Huh?!

According to its reclusive French creator, the ending to Out of this World was left intentionally ambiguous, like classic film or literature. Okay, but was it also left intentionally hilarious? Because no matter how emotionally attached we are to the game's protagonist, we can't help but laugh at his ridiculous fate. We're sorry.