Ugly polygon "babes" of yesteryear

39 terrifying monsters we used to think were sexy

Above: Adon from Turok 2 isn’t quite as nice to look at as you remember, is she? She has it better than most

Now, though… it’s not so much that we no longer want to see these characters naked as that we wouldn’t want to be in the same city where they were naked. As badly as their games have aged, these former sex symbols have it worse, going from objects of desire to terrifying box-monsters with creepy heads and pyramid breasts. In the name of embarrassing everyone who lusted after them and mortifying everyone who didn’t, we’ve rounded up a selection of these sad creatures and put them on display.


After graduating from college in 2000 with a BA in journalism, I worked for five years as a copy editor, page designer and videogame-review columnist at a couple of mid-sized newspapers you've never heard of. My column eventually got me a freelancing gig with GMR magazine, which folded a few months later. I was hired on full-time by GamesRadar in late 2005, and have since been paid actual money to write silly articles about lovable blobs.
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