21) SPLITTING HEADACHE
Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Link’s a murderer. You could argue that he’s only killing evil people, but there’s absolutely no need to stab the Master Sword right through Ganondorf’s forehead and down through his throat. Still, at least there’s no danger of Ganondorf returning after this battle.
22) TOPLESS SPORTS
BMX XXX
In perhaps the biggest oversight in videogaming history, BMX XXX was not awarded a BBFC 18 certificate. Despite the fact that many lines of dialogue contained an f-bomb or two, and the toilet humour was even lower than the scores the game received, BMX XXX was released, uncut, on the GameCube. However, its real ‘un-Nintendo-y’ moment came in the form of videos that could be unlocked. Collect enough tokens and the game will play real videos of strippers getting down to nothing but an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny thong. Makes you wonder why no one’s picked it up for a Wii update that makes use of the one-handed remote...
23) BATHTIME BUTCHERY
Hitman 2: Silent Assassin
Topping our Hitman moments list is the Jacuzzi Job mission. Fibre-wiring his two bimbos before gunning down the naked oaf while he bathes is a gruesome task, but it’s topped by then pulling him out of the tub, spreading his legs and dragging his escorts into a rather suggestive position. Who says we need help?
24) DR TUROK’S BRAIN DRAINING
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
Before Turok turned rubbish (and morphed into a space marine) he had a thirst for blood and a stockpile of awesome weapons. Top of the list was the Cerebral Bore: a gun that fired prongs into the brain of an enemy, drained its cerebrospinal fluid and then caused its head to explode in a shower of blood, skull fragments and brain fluid. Unfortunately the weapon was never taken on board by Mario and co. Wonder why?
25) BOOM! HEADSHOT!
XIII
Nail a headshot and you’ll be rewarded with a three-frame slo-mo close-up of your dirty work showing the bloody results in all their gory glory. It may look like a cartoon, but XIII didn’t pull any punches when it came to violence. Where’s that sequel we were always promised?
Jun 13, 2008
