Sintendo: The evil side of kiddy gaming

Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask

Children? Dead. Adults? Dead. Cuccos? Dead. Majora’s Mask is widely regarded as one of Nintendo’s darkest games, and when the moon comes crashing down on top of Clock Town and wipes out all life in Termina it’s clear to see why. There’s no Bruce Willis with a drill and a nuke to save the day here – just little ol’ Link and his Ocarina, limbs twitching as the moon abandons its orbit and splits his head open on impact.

Resident Evil 4

A game so bloody it’s hard to choose its finest moment. While we’re particularly fond of the shotgun-meets-face explosion of bloody chunks, it’s a move we’d seen in the original. The image of Baghead lopping Leon’s head clean off his shoulders, however, was a fresh horror that still haunts us to this day. We can’t help but run as fast as possible whenever we hear a chainsaw nearby.

Conker’s Bad Fur Day

Singing faeces, cog fellatio and language so blue it’ll shock your socks off.1 It’s no wonder that despite the game’s advanced graphics and technical effects, Nintendo tried to wash their hands of it. Nintendo Power didn’t cover it and adverts were restricted to late-night television and Playboy. Nintendo didn’t even publish the game in Europe, more than happily stepping aside to let THQ do the honours instead.

Super Smash Bros Brawl
What came first, the camera or the underwear? We’re not sure if the blonde-haired blue-eyed Princess Peach’s frilly knickers were created to satisfy those wanting to peek up her skirt, or if the free camera was designed so that people could look up her skirt, but what we do know is that it’s seven shades of wrong.

Scarface: The World Is Yours

Resident Evil 4’s chainsaw moments were bad, but Scarface’s are far, far worse. Bodies can be cut to pieces, and when the heads, arms and legs come flying off there’s no shortage of the red stuff. You know, we’d do anything for a green card. Say hello to our little friend...