You may have noticed that the saggy-skinned 'are games art?' debate has been reluctantly defibrillated back into life again after veteran film critic Roger Ebertdecided to stick his oar in. In response, we posted a 'Does it matter what Roger Ebert thinks?' article.
But we thought we could categorically put an end to the wheel-chair bound argument once and for all via the medium of a not entirely serious, mildly self-deprecating, easy-to-digest list of four reasons that irrefutably prove games are actually better than art.
You don't look at a game and say "I could've done that"
Above: Tracy Emin's 'My Bed', which at least offers an ironic twist on the often-heard gallery muttering of "I could've made that"
PC 'racer' Big Rigs may have been a spectacular mess with absolutely no redeeming features beyond being laughably and unbelievably crap, but we still don't kid ourselves that we could ever have done a better job. Only game designers with a knowledge of how games are made would legitimately be able to make such a claim. In contrast, art is achievable by anyone just so long as they remember to call their creation 'art' once they've spent five minutes making it.
Games have better boob physics
Above: Which ones do you prefer?
If art and games share one thing in common it's their love of bewbs. But while the use of boobs is widespread in both mediums, there's no argument that - thanks to complex algorithms - games have the upper hand when it comes to assessing which boobs are best. Art boobs don't bounce. Game boobs do. Games win. We bet even Roger Ebert has had a sneaky little peep at Kasumi's mind-bogglingly buoyant rack.
You know what a game is meant to be as soon as you look at it
Above: Call of Duty 12: Non-representational Warfare
Games do require some level of explanation. That is why we have instruction manuals and tutorials. Generally, though, games require no explanation when it comes to describing what they are. If a World War II shooter actually looked like a swirly maelstrom of total abstraction it wouldn't be much fun to play. Killing the Nazis would be too difficult. When we look at art, we sometimes need to read the little notice just to find out if we're looking at assholes or elbows. And that can't be right, surely?
Games are cheaper
Above: For The Love of God RRP £50 million. God of War III RRP £39.99
You might think games are expensive, but have you seen the price of art lately? Even a mass production poster of The Lady of Shallot will make a painful dent in your wallet. And unless your name's Charles bloody Saatchi don't even think about buying an original. Plus, once you've bought art, all you can do is look at it. There's no hidden unlockables, DLC or anything. It's a bloody swindle.
April 20, 2010