Far from being a seaside rockpool distraction, there's a real risk that the decapod crustaceans featured here could entirely ruin your day. So crouch down and scuttle from side-to-side in delight as we round up the best of our extra-pinchy PlayStation pals.
No Man's Sky
ARGH, GIANT SPACE CRABS! Or wait, is it giant space mantises? Actually, it’s kinda both. Thanks to NMS’s procedurally generated algorithms, you’ll come across a near-endless supply of species that have been Frankenstein’ed together. Many sport pincer/scuttling legs combos, which makes ’em crabs in our book.
Genji: Days of the Blade
Sony’s E3 2006 press conference stank. Naughty pre-rendered footage! Ludicrous PS3 price points! Cheesy Kaz Hirai soundbites! Yet at least it left the world a lovely, meme-tastic gift: “Giant Enemy Crab.” During Genji’s demo, producer Bill Ritch talked up its historically accurate battles, before showing off a sodding huge crustacean seconds later, all with absolutely zero irony. Bless you, Bill.
Dark Souls 3
Ewww. Why can’t all crabs be like Sebastian? Ariel’s pal may have been uptight, but at least he didn’t weigh three tonnes, spit toxic foam or brandish a claw the size of a Cadillac. The Great Crabs in Dark Souls 3 mostly inhabit the swamps of the Road of Sacrifices, and are absolute rotters to kill.
What do you fancy, Lara? The white meat or the brown? Halfway through Ms Croft’s 2013 reboot, the intrepid adventurer is reunited with her stranded chums on Yamatai’s Shipwreck Beach. Said sandy expanse is full of scuttling toe-pinchers, and shooting one rewards you with the Crab Cakes trophy. Monster.
The one enemy here that’ll ruin shellfish for you for life. Gordon Freeman’s iconic headcrabs are horrible little leapy gits, which dream of taking control of hosts through invasive facial procedures so awful, they’d make a Facehugger blush. The resulting headcrab zombies are terrifying, super-resilient monsters.
Mega Man X8
Crabs-Y is such a cuddly name, isn’t it? Too bad it belongs to such a nippy, mechanical nuisance. Crabs-Y is a persistent boss which crops up to fight Mega Man no fewer than three times. Not even the mightiest of nutcrackers will shatter this dastard’s robotic shell; only barrier-breaking attacks can do the job.
You have to admire a crab with a sense of theatre. Enter the Invincible Son of Crawmerax the Invincible, to give him his full, awesomely bloated title. This gigantic crab-worm is the offspring of a mighty raid boss from the first Borderlands, and he appears in the sequel’s Sir Hammerlock DLC to avenge his pappy.
The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim
If your Dragonborn is near Broken Fang Cave, a journey west will reveal the Fossilised Giant Mudcrab area: a shrine to a hefty (and thankfully dead) scuttler. Take up the Kyne’s Sacred Trials quest and you fight the Guardian Mudcrab, which carries the spirit of his deceased pal.
South Park: The Stick Of Truth
All bow at the flesh-carving claws of the Crab People! South Park’s crustacean folk were originally going to play a much larger role in The Stick Of Truth. Sadly, their role was cut down to that of a glorified Facebook app appearance when the kids meet a lone crab after they learn the Nagasaki fart.
This article originally appeared in Official PlayStation Magazine. For more great PlayStation coverage, you can subscribe here.
Hungry for more crabs? (And why wouldn't you be?) Then check out the 12 deadliest crabs in video games.