Is that what I said? What I meant was...
E3 is the time to dazzle everyone with claims, games, and promises for the future. But with last year's E3 showcasing a new generation of consoles--absolutely full of possibilities--most companies made some serious claims. And nobody seemed to cry bullsh*t. We were all Fox Mulders: we wanted to believe.
"PS4 won't require you to check-in online periodically"
Ah, Jack Tretton. How much you look like you should be captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise. And how you must have loved these brief few moments while they were happening. Indeed, you must look back on them fondly now, much in the same way as you do your first kiss, or that time you opened a cereal packet and there were TWO toys inside. Or that time you and Uhura got it on, even though you were under mind control at the time. But you were speaking the truth too! PS4 is check-in free. You can even install new PS4 firmware from game discs, meaning players don't actually *need* the internet at all. How about that.
"PS4 won't impose any new restrictions on preowned games"
True! There are loads of pre-owned copies of Knack in the shop in town. But seriously, it's more telling that Microsoft has since reversed its controversial policy to copy this stance. Which, admittedly, would've made for a much better slide, but for the simple fact that the policy was announced at the unveiling event prior to E3, and not at E3 itself. Hey, I don't make the rules. Except in this case I do. I do make the rules. And in this instance they're clearly hampering the feature.
"Air you can taste and texture you can feel"
Now, I was fair to Turn 10's Dan Greenawalt. I patiently waited for Forza 5, putting aside my uneasy feeling that it would probably not feature tangible assets nor a wafting breeze infused with exotic exhaust fumes and tyre smoke. And when I got the game home, I drove 500 miles. Then I drove 500 more. But the most I could taste was TV screen. And the most I could feel was TV screen. Therefore, I must conclude that this promise was not kept. Who would've seen that coming?
"Through the release of Xbox one, 2 free game downloads... yours to keep"
This was the start of 'Games With Gold', whereby subscribers to Microsoft's Xbox Live Gold online service would be able to receive two free Xbox 360 games a month at no extra cost, to keep forever. And sure enough, that is exactly what happened. HOWEVER! After Xbox One's launch, Microsoft's backtracking eventually aped Sony's offering, meaning any 'free' games you download now will cease to be playable should you let your subscription lapse. So this statement was true, but too good to last. At least the free games are really good. Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition and Dark Souls, anyone?
"Xbox One will launch this November in 21 markets around the world"
False! Microsoft admitted this was an "aggressive goal" and revised the figure to 13 markets, a little more than half the original figure. The reason given was in order to meet demand for the machine. Although despite a reasonably successful launch, availability wasn't so much of a problem as it was with PS4, so perhaps (perhaps) they could have gone ahead with plan A anyway. Oh stop looking so affronted, it's true!
"In 2014... your journey with Halo on Xbox One begins'.
Well... Halo 5: Guardians has turned out to be the game that was being talked about in this presentation, but it has since been pushed back to autumn next year, which clearly wasn't the original plan. However, your Xbox One Halo journey might yet start this year if the heavily rumoured Halo 1/2/3/4 compilation pack is real. And it looks likely to be. So this one might end up being true--technically--even if it isn't via the game we all expected at the time.
Bayonetta 2 coming Summer 2014
This one is going to be damn close. While it isn't quite summer yet, we haven't heard an awful lot about Bayonetta 2 since the last E3. Yes, there have been hands-on previews and a trailer, but... so far the only concrete release date is one for August in Japan. Personally, I still count August as summer, but I know not everyone does. And if we don't get the game before the end of August... well, maybe Platinum is waiting until this year's show to give us an info-splosion. Or a Sega Saturn-style 'and you can buy it today!' shock announcement. Yeah, that turned out real well...
"What we are not saying as a result of this year is that the Nintendo press conference is dead"
After last year's surprise announcement that Nintendo would not be delivering a traditional stand-up, live press conference at E3 and instead opt for a Nintendo Direct-style video broadcast, everyone was sad. Did that mean we wouldn't ever get another 'Miyamoto with Zelda cosplay' moment again? Nintendo's American President, Reggie Fils-Aime went on-record to say that it didn't mean the Nintendo Press Conference is dead, and that "Next year and what we do at E3 next year is going to be an ongoing conversation, based on what the right thing to do is for the content we have". So not a promise that we definitely would have a proper presser this year... but it looks like Nintendo is perfectly happy with the pre-approved video approach. Hey--we're still talking about the games from last year's vid, so I guess it works. But still, don't get our hopes up like that, Reggie. Just tell us when it's over.
