Final Fantasy 15's TGS trailer with auto-English translation is hilariously wrong

I was trying to make sense of the new Final Fantasy 15 story trailer that Square Enix debuted at Tokyo Game Show, so I turned on YouTube's auto-translate feature. I still have no idea what the hell anyone is talking about, but I got something much better: a series of wonderful, totally inappropriate non-sequiturs created by robots that are just trying their best.

You can experience the magic yourself by clicking the little "CC" button on the bottom right of the YouTube video, selecting automatic English subtitles, and letting the four-and-a-half minute trailer roll. I've picked out a few of my favorite moments if you're in a hurry.

Maybe next time you won't forget your stamps!

They're either talking about user analytics or something very untoward

Don't even ask about the a, b, and c sets

This Japanese real estate pitch is pretty tempting

I know that Lunafreya isn't actually shouting at the US House of Representatives about the year-to-date low 12,572 yen conversion rate. Probably. But now I want to play the game where she is. Is there any way I can feed my Final Fantasy 15 install through Google's automatic translator?