Whisper it... The dark secrets of your favourite game characters

Can you keep a secret?

Human beings love a good secret, and why shouldnt they? Knowledge is power, and true power is knowing just which one of your friends bawled during the ending of Toy Story 3 (answer: all of them). Unfortunately, we--as a species--are also wired up to blab about every single speck of info that somehow ends up in our brains. We're a social species: a gossip-dropping clan of second-stage apes with nothing better to do, and that's exactly how we like it.

Luckily, sites like Whisper handily allow users to vent their pent-up hysterics with total anonymity. After spending hours gawping at the depraved secrets of others on Whisper, it occurred to me that plenty of video game characters could do with that service. So, with that in mind, I've decided to give the most troubled pixelsacks an opportunity to blow off some steam. Totally anonymously, obviously.

Like a boss

Hair care...

Squeak's dreams

Solar power

Ass effect

Don't know Jak

Other brother

Snake in the grass

Tekken the piss

Pocket money

Fatality!

Metal smear

Body check

Safety first

Fus-ro-doh

Here to fix the fridge

Care to share?

A wise man once said: "there's nothing quite like airing your dirty laundry in public, especially when that laundry contains one too many mysterious brown stains". Of course, I may just have fabricated that last quote in order to give you a sense of closure, but meh, I'm pretty sure you bought it. The harsh truth is that the world needs secrets. Without them all of our favourite puzzle games would be little more than glossy, overpriced drinks coasters. And that's not a world any of us want to imagine.