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SFX Spurious Awards

An Indiana Jones lookalike, Van Gogh meets Tolkien and a shock in Game Of Thrones ... All in this week's Spurious Awards, hosted by Narin Bahar!

ENTRANCE OF THE WEEK
Any lingering doubts that Camelot was going to be anything other than Spartacus meets The Tudors were firmly squashed seven minutes into episode one when Arthur made his first appearance, in Daily Mail terminology, romping naked in a field.

EXIT OF THE WEEK [SPOILER ALERT]
Poor stoic Ned Stark had, from the very start, been pitched as the main character in Game Of Thrones , so – if you hadn’t read the books at least – his brutal demise at the decree of inbred Joffrey was the most jaw-dropping moment of TV this week. We also loved the reaction of the eponymous mother from the hilarious My Mom Watches Game of Thrones tumblr.

CULTURAL MASH-UP OF THE WEEK

Vincent Van Gogh goes to Mordor (via Blastr )

LOOKALIKE OF THE WEEK
E3, as ever, offered much in the way of giddy joy for gamers keen to find out what would be filling their time in the next year. Long-awaited (and overdue) Star Wars MMORPG The Old Republic brought a new trailer and a tantalising look at some of the gameplay and character options. But we couldn’t help thinking that their Han Solo-ish bounty hunter character looked a little bit like another well known Harrison Ford hero.

MYSTERY OF THE WEEK
Never has a holding page caused so much excitement as this week, when www.pottermore.com was unveiled to the world. The exact details of JK Rowling’s newest project are shrouded in mystery, with speculation ranging from an online game, to book, to theme park. After extensive effort here at SFX we think we’ve gone some way to cracking the fiendish code. Someway, somehow with the Pottermore project Ms Rowling is giving us more Potter. And owls. No, don’t thank us...

SYCOPHANT OF THE WEEK

When journalist Edith Zimmerman interviewed Captain America himself for this month’s GQ she managed to live down to every cliché of hacks interviewing stars, and set back the cause of female journalism in the process. This jaw-dropping profile is Gonzo writing, yes, but less Hunter S Thompson more the blue-conked muppet. Oddly though, it’s all the more readable for that. And Chris Evans seems like a genuinely nice bloke.

STUPID STATEMENT OF THE WEEK

“Scientists are always messing with nature, it’s what we do, it’s progress.”

Connor Temple, Primeval, on opening the first man-made anomaly in history, shortly before unleashing a legion seemingly unstoppable, creepy, flesh-eating uber-beetles. Oops.

SALE OF THE WEEK
If you want proof that the Stargate universe is firmly closed for business, then a sale in a Canadian warehouse starting today will do it. We definitely approve of fans being given a chance to pick up a piece of TV history, but can’t help feeling sad at the slightly bargain basement look of the sales literature . Although it does beg the question – how can you buy a ‘notion’?

ETHICAL DEBATE OF THE WEEK
Fantasy icon, SFX Outstanding Contribution Award winner and all round amazing man Sir Terry Pratchett stirred up controversy and debate in equal measure with his documentary, Choosing to Die . Looking at British policy of assisted death, the film showed the final moments of Peter Smedley – the first showing of real-life death on national television. The reaction to the moving film was widespread – with the BBC receiving hundreds of messages of both support and complaint and politicians mentioning it in Parliament.

"SCIENCE FICTION GETS CLOSER TO SCIENCE FACT" AWARD
We defy anyone who saw the pictures of the aeroplanes of the future released by Airbus this week not to feel a little thrill at the prospect of flying around in something that looks like a spaceship, complete with Minority Report -style virtual screens and a holodeck (although boringly the main suggestion was to play virtual golf on it. Yawn). Roll on 2050.

CUTE WHO FAN/PRECOCIOUS SHOUTY CHILD OF THE WEEK [DELETE AS APPROPRIATE] AWARD
Doctor Who may have gone from our screens but fear not, here at the Spurious Awards we’ve got a plethora of Doctor related goodies for you this week, starting with a small child practicing his re-enactment of Matt Smith’s epic Pandorica speech for a school talent show. Ah, do you remember the days when kids played like this, but didn’t post the results on YouTube?

FOOT IN MOUTH FAUX PAS OF THE WEEK
You’d think that when the Controller of BBC One went to talk at a seminar about faith and television the opportunity for controversy would come from putting his foot in it about religion. Instead Danny Cohen caused a mini internet meltdown after answering a question about Doctor Who ’s 2012 run. The exact detail of what’s going to happen is still a bit hazy, not helped by conflicting statements from various interested parties, but after a few days of claim and counter-claim the gist is that it looks like there next year will be Doctor Who-light, with just a half run in the autumn before big plans to mark the Doctor’s 50 year anniversary in 2013.

Showrunner Steven Moffat started off being fairly laid back about the in-some-quarters hysterical reaction to the news, tweeting:

However after a couple more days of angst, and speculation that the delay was because of his work on Sherlock, his frustration was much more evident:

MERCHANDISE OF THE WEEK
We give you this without further comment. The Doctor Who Flesh Goo Pod, £6.29. Out this week.