Great name, crap game: 35 wasted titles that deserve better treatment

The name game

What's in a name, ey? Power? Influence? Non-stop schoolyard mockery? What about disappointment? Sadly it seems that great names can be bestowed upon both worthy and unworthy owners alike. For every Maximus Decimus Meridius eyeballing an evil emperor there's certain to be some 'Maxi Dec Me' douchebag sunning himself on the Jersey shore. Tragic. The same thing goes for video game titles. A great game with a bad name is still a great game - most folks will learn to live with it - but a crappy slab of shovelware blessed with a top title? That's simply not cricket!

Killing Zone

What is it? A glitch-filled mess of a fighting game released back in 1996. Characters were modelled after an array of mythological creatures, including the Gorgon, Minotaur and err 'Dark Faerie'.

Rogue Warrior

What is it? An utterly shoddy shooting title barfed out back in 2009. Players take on the role of real-life spec ops innovator Richard Marcinko, dispensing rough justice and launching into several expletive-ridden tirades (awful control scheme permitting).

Fight Club

What is it? A humourlessly literal interpretation of the cult movie's title. It's the same old Fight Club, except everyone here looks a bit ill, and the only real twist involves this horrid excuse for a game actually existing.

The Shield: The Game

What is it? A half-arsed translation of TV's grittiest police show. Players adopt the role of bent cop superstar Vic Mackey as he attempts to restore his team's failing reputation. Cue much shooting, shouting and off-the-books police brutality.

Damnation

What is it? A steampunk shooting title released in 2009. Criticised for its poor gameplay, graphics and insufferable voice acting.

Vampire Rain

What is it? A survival-horror stealth title starring a crack unit of vamp-battling humans. Roundly critiqued for its overly punitive difficulty setting and annoyingly linear level design.

Raven Squad: Operation Hidden Dagger

What is it? An ambitious RTS/ FPS hybrid that utterly failed to succeed in either genre.

Kung Fu Rider

What is it? An unfathomably strange PlayStation Move title featuring a kung fu aficionado riding around on an office chair. Anything gets too close for comfort, and you kick it to the curb. It's simple really. A bit too simple for some, with the vast majority of critics decrying the game's laundry list of issues.

What it ought to be: Ever heard of a tour rider? Those crazy, borderline obsessive lists of demands that bands make while gigging? 'All brown M&Ms'. 'Camomile-scented oxygen tents'. 'A single Danish raisin' etc. etc. Well I reckon the name 'Kung Fu Rider' really ought to apply to one of those, a demand made by - or requesting the presence of - a cadre of insane martial artists. "I want Jet Li here in the next 60 seconds or there will be no encore!".

Smashing Drive

What is it? A taxi cab racing title that tasks players with collecting more fares than the competition. Power-ups include the ability to repair your vehicle, blow away other cars, and generally impede the progress of your opposition. Reviewers were left far from impressed.

Metal Dungeon

What is it? A wilfully ugly turn-based RPG, set inside the titular Metal Dungeon. Scolded for its simplistic gameplay, lazy story and weak customisation options.

Bloodforge

What is it? A celtic twist on the God of War formula, this hack n' slash disaster is hindered by poor camera controls, dreadful difficulty and a litany of aggravating glitches.

The Guy Game

What is it? A titillating, barely interactive quiz title.

Mindjack

What is it? A clumsy cover-based shooter that allows players to jump into or 'jack' the minds of various NPCs.

Sniper: Ghost Warrior

What is it? A tactical first-person shooter title, Sniper: Ghost Warrior brings all the fun of lying in a ditch for hours on end - clutching a high-powered weapon you barely get to use - all the way to your living room. Critics lambasted the game's flip-flopping AI and numerous irritating glitches.

NeverDead

What is it? Another lacklustre third-person shooter. NeverDead boasts an odd dismemberment mechanic that allows players to detach specific limbs in order to solve puzzles.

NARC

What is it? A hard boiled third-person shooter, NARC casts players as one of two tough talking cops, taking on drug crime in the big city. The title stirred up considerable controversy by allowing the player to partake of the game's illegal narcotics, rewarding users who did so with temporary skill boosts.

Nitrobike

What is it? A turbo-charged dirt bike racer for the Nintendo Wii.

Operation Darkness

What is it? A tactical RPG set in alternate universe World War Two. Derided for its poor graphics, camera play and err well, pretty much everything really.

Alien Syndrome

What is it? A bafflingly inept update of the classic 1987 arcade game, Alien Syndrome (2007) is a top down shooter with little to recommend it.

LocoCycle

What is it? An Xbox One racing game starring a sentient motorcycle named I.R.I.S. Despite that solid gold setup, the game failed to impress critics.

Bodycount

What is it? A chaotic first-person shooter title, Bodycount offers a unique degree of environmental destruction and very little else.

Time Stalkers

What is it? A dreamcast-exclusive RPG released in 1999. Time Stalkers suffers from a number of questionable design choices, and received largely mixed reviews.

FaceBreaker

What is it? A cartoonish boxing title that features a surprisingly high level of difficulty. Where some found the game to be enjoyable (following ample practice), many more lamented the title's supremely cheap AI.

Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed

What is it? A disappointing sequel to Destroy All Humans 2, this quasi-sandbox shooter featured outdated graphics at the time, and a largely uninspired multiplayer addition.

Blood Bowl

What is it? A gridiron fantasy title based on the popular board game brand. Blood Bowl's PC version proved to be largely successful, whereas the game's DS, PSP & Xbox 360 translations all floundered.

WarPath

What is it? A budget FPS title for the original Xbox and PC. Criticised for being too similar to its competitors, with few fresh ideas of its own.

Alien Rage

What is it? Another uninspired space-set FPS, Alien Rage disappointed players with its tedious rehashing of well-worn genre tropes. Adding to the player's woes are a number of recurring technical issues, including dramatic drops in frame rate and unexplained crashes.

Haze

What is it? A 2008 FPS that was once touted as a potential 'Halo-Killer'. Haze ultimately fell well short of those expectations, hitting the market with numerous nagging issues and glitches.

Toxic Grind

What is it? The Hunger Games meets extreme sports in this nightmarish BMXer. Riders are drawn from the present to battle it out in the future, landing tricks, kicking flips and avoiding copious death traps, all for the amusement of the viewers watching at home.

BackBreaker

What is it? A physics-based gridiron sim.

Blade Kitten

What is it? A 2.5D platform title revolving around the adventures of the titular 'Blade Kitten', a half-human, half feline bounty hunter named Kit Ballard. The majority of critics baulked at the game's low difficulty, uninspired level design and clumsy control scheme.

Cake Mania (DS)

What is it? A cake shop tycoon title. Despite enjoying plenty of success elsewhere, the game's DS translation felt comparatively undercooked.

Velvet Assassin

What is it? A third-person stealth title recounting the exploits of a WW2-era female British spy.

Savage Skies

What is it? A dog fighting flight-sim with dragons. Like Lair, but released in 2002. The game was at one time endorsed by heavy metal icon Ozzy Osbourne.

Quantum Theory

What is it? A third-person shooter released in 2011. Imagine a broken version of Gears of War, coupled with an innovative, if poorly implemented 'moving cover' gimmick.

Title fight

Well shucks, that sure was something, wasn't it? A real rip-roaring adventure through the festering underoos of the video game landscape. If you have any great name/terrible game suggestions, then feel free to shout them out, directly into your monitor. Technology will do the rest, probably