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50 Best Homer Simpson Quotes Of All Time


The Quote: “I’ve gone back in time to when dinosaurs weren’t just confined to zoos.”

Why We Love It: Ah, the infiltration of Jurassic Park into social consciousness. Fantastic.


The Quote: “I’m like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?”

Why We Love It: Because it’s worth letting this one slip when attending humdrum social occasions in an attempt to shake loose fellow film fans.

In The Theatre

The Quote: "Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty to make a complete ass of myself."

Why We Love It: Kudos to the writers for using Homer’s terrible public behaviour to channel their thoughts on individuals who disrupt cinema experiences. By ‘eck, who knew it was a duty?

Idiot Box

The Quote: “Television! Teacher! Mother! Secret Lover.”

Why We Love It: If we were stranded in the middle of nowhere, we’d likely shriek the same mantra.

Quick Time

The Quote: “Forty seconds? But I want it now!”

Why We Love It: We’ve all faced the microwave timer with the same thought - even if do keep it to ourselves.


The Quote: “Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours.”

Why We Love It: Well, it’s only fair, right?

Anger Management

The Quote: "Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.”

Why We Love It: Once more, it proves that following Homer’s advice is likely to result in an arrest.


The Quote: "The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do."

Why We Love It: Because it’s quite possibly the worst advice you could bestow upon a child.


The Quote: “I can’t even say the word ‘titmouse’ without giggling like a schoolgirl.”

Why We Love It: Because we can’t either.


The Quote: “Lord help me, I’m just not that bright.”

Why We Love It: He’s so honest about his shortcomings; even if it doesn’t exactly paint him in a favourable light. Aw, bless.