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50 Best Homer Simpson Quotes Of All Time


The Quote: “Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!”

Why We Love It: He’s such a loveable doof, despite being way off the mark on both counts you can’t help but smile at his optimism.


The Quote: “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.”

Why We Love It: Homer’s got an iota of responsibility towards his drinking habit, raising a glass with the knowledge of what may follow... well, in this one scene anyway.

Life Goals

The Quote: “All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.”

Why We Love It: Where to start?


The Quote: “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”

Why We Love It: It’s a hilarious spin on typical parental advice; “all that matters is that you tried your best.” No wonder Bart’s always scribbling at the blackboard...

Precocious Kiddies

The Quote: “I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four.”

Why We Love It: A double-pronged classic Homerism, starts with a wander down a nostalgic memory lane before making light of Homer’s relationship with Bart. Brilliant.

TV Is The Answer

The Quote: “When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!”

Why We Love It: Because it’s a sneakily brilliant quote to use when your other half gives you the evil side eye for opening another drinkie... and then lets you dictate the TV schedule as a compromise. Result!

The Shinning

The Quote: “No TV and no beer makes Homer something something.”

Why We Love It: Even in his portrayal of a tormented psychotic writer, Homer still bumbles his way through the most iconic line of the film he’s parodying.


The Quote: “Being popular is the most important thing in the world!”

Why We Love It: An early spot of parenting advice to Bart from way back in season one, it’s so silly that there’s no way we couldn’t love it.


The Quote: “Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14 percent of all people know that.”

Why We Love It: Whether or not this specific episode is the origin of this joke, it’s a timeless gag that never fails to raise a smile.

Hoarding Homer

The Quote: "Are you mad, woman? You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? And these TV guides... so many memories..."

Why We Love It: One of Homer J’s most nonsensical arguments, yet it’s strangely interesting to note - is there a sly nod to Back To The Future here?