50 Best Homer Simpson Quotes Of All Time

Staying In

The Quote: “What's the point of going out? We're just gonna wind up back here anyway.”

Why We Love It: It’s a perfect glimpse into the mind of a binge-watcher.

Defeat

The Quote: “I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.”

Why We Love It: Homer always makes time to squeeze in a Flanders insult. Even if he’s got nothing to do with the conversation.

Spin The Bottle

The Quote: “My beer! You never had a chance to become my urine!”

Why We Love It: An accidental smooch with Milhouse during a treehouse round of Spin The Bottle and Homer’s response? A genius ordering of his priorities.

The Future

The Quote: “I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.”

Why We Love It: A brilliant example of misappropriating a popular culture phrase - in this case a lyric from Whitney Houston - and using it to bolster an argument. Bravo, Homer J.

Mischief

The Quote: “A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid centre.”

Why We Love It: Nonsensical analogies - perfect for rendering folks dumbstruck as they attempt to figure it out.

Film Quotin'

The Quote: "Look Marge, you don't know what it's like -- I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!"

Why We Love It: Because we’ve all been there - attempting to inject a line of movie dialogue into everyday banter only for it to actually become two quotes from different movies, that err, don’t aid your argument whatsoever.

Talking To God

The Quote: "Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever...thy will be done."

Why We Love It: A useful nugget of wisdom that can also be applied to the handful of mince pies left out for Santa at Christmas.

The Internet

The Quote: “The information superhighway showed the average person what some nerd thinks about Star Trek.”

Why We Love It: A sweet snapshot into the history of the web, it was true when Homer first uttered it, and remains so today.

Break Ups

The Quote: “Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'

Why We Love It: It’s crude, funny and might actually work!

Dealing With Mr. Burns

The Quote: “Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?”

Why We Love It: Homer’s rant lets us all know that taking a glib remark too far can often be very, very funny.

Emergency

The Quote: “Operator! Give me the number for 911!”

Why We Love It: There’s probably no better quote to adequately exhibit Homer’s crippling ineptitude.