Skip to main content

50 Best Homer Simpson Quotes Of All Time

The Elderly

The Quote: “Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.”

Why We Love It: Sounds to us like Homer’s barmy notion could be spun into a controversial sci-fi flick - Cocoon meets Splice ?

Sexual Politics

The Quote: “Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman.”

Why We Love It: The climate of political correctness has never been ripped into with such scathing ridicule!

Superman

The Quote: “I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.”

Why We Love It: For all of his rants and queries about religion, it’s heartening to know that in times of crisis, Homer, like us, turns to the man of steel for guidance.

Speed

The Quote: “I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.””

Why We Love It: Because it’s hilarious.

Marge The Cop

The Quote: “When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, you know like that movie... "Spaceballs". But instead it was dark and disturbing, like that movie "Police Academy”.”

Why We Love It: The commendation here is deserved by The Simpsons writers, for their witty meta-riffs on cinematic comedy - and their second sly elbow into the ribs of Police Academy.

Movies

The Quote: “They’re my only escape from the drudgery of work and family … No offense.”

Why We Love It: While we believe it’s possible to maintain a healthy relationship with movies (ahem), Homer’s response is still killer.

Watching TV

The Quote: “It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.”

Why We Love It: Because we’ve all experienced the incessant need to digest as many movies and boxsets as possible whilst holding down our familial obligations.

Suit You, Sir

The Quote: “Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You/re making a scene’.”

Why We Love It: Homer’s knowledge of his own behaviour is both poignant and amusing at the same time.

Weasels

The Quote: “Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.”

Why We Love It: It’s another standard slice of Homeresque parenting.

The Facts Of Life

The Quote: “Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.”

Why We Love It: In typical Homer fashion he’s managed to prove a point he intended to disprove.