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How to change Gordon Freeman for the better

Top Valve man Gabe Newell says that there's no reason to change Gordon Freeman and that he'll remain as 'an arm with a crowbar' for the forseeable future. That's all well and good, and lord knows we've had some bad reactions to characters getting voices and such in the past, but still. Anything can be improved.

So here are some easy ways to modernise Half-Life's protagonist. As with our Lara Croft redesigns, just make the cheque payable to GamesRadar. Thanks.

 

Cel-shaded Gordon


Above: Jet-powered in-line roller blades just out of shot

 

User-generated Gordon


Above: LittleBigHalf-Life would so rock. Create your own crowbar!

 

Space Marine Gordon


Above: Make Alyx a hologram and add a helmet = 27 million sold

 

Casual Gordon


Above: Physicistz was just too dull-sounding. More Zs!

See? Way better. Er...

06 Apr, 2010

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20 comments

  • randomgirlk23 - April 12, 2010 8:58 p.m.

    if they gave him a voice it would spoil the entire freeman's mind series.
  • JohnnyMaverik - April 8, 2010 12:53 a.m.

    Space Marine Gordon = Major fanboy rage going on here >.< How dare you stick master chef's head on a walking, but not talking god. The rest was pretty amusing though so have a biscuit. *Gives Justin a biscuit*
  • StoveToTheFace - April 7, 2010 1:25 p.m.

    screw cel shaded half life it killed zelda for me..keep half life the way it is amazing and always breaking new ground when it come out with a new game...i got the half life logo tat on my arm..and dont screw with freeman he is the strong silent type :)
  • philipshaw - April 7, 2010 11:35 a.m.

    Cel Shaded Gordon Freeman looks cool but it won't sell like all Cel Shaded games
  • didierortiz - April 7, 2010 1:51 a.m.

    cel shaded half life could actually really work
  • Cwf2008 - April 6, 2010 11:32 p.m.

    @wrapdump: Well ya see that armor is pretty thick. How else is he gonna survive a Combine ambush?
  • Nashalot - April 6, 2010 10:42 p.m.

    Once again, Tustin comes up with a doozy! Ha ha!
  • wrapdump - April 6, 2010 10:36 p.m.

    I wish they'd just make him a bit slimmer so that he's not the EXACT width of the doorways. Gets really irritating.
  • CreeplyTuna - April 6, 2010 9:02 p.m.

    @Wriggly: if they gave him a voce it would change his character completely. just imagine master chief with a voice like michael cera... people would be completely different view of him
  • fanboyhunter - April 6, 2010 7:56 p.m.

    It would be so awesome if he has a helium high chipmunk voice!!!!
  • CH3BURASHKA - April 6, 2010 7:50 p.m.

    All games are improved if enough cel-shading is applied.
  • Onedown - April 6, 2010 6:33 p.m.

    He looks like some creepy pedo in the last one.
  • VTheSystemV - April 6, 2010 5:18 p.m.

    The Spartan Helmet scarily suits him. Don't let him speak. If Gabe makes him speak I am sure it will rock though
  • Wriggly - April 6, 2010 5:17 p.m.

    What's wrong with making him talk? I honestly don't see it. It's not like they'll mess up his voice or something and make it sound stupid, it's Valve we're talking about here.
  • allthegoodnameswheretaken - April 6, 2010 4:04 p.m.

    I know but at least some form of interaction
  • Pwns4you - April 6, 2010 4 p.m.

    @allthegoodnamesweretaken words could not comprehend how much that would upset the half life fan base...
  • allthegoodnameswheretaken - April 6, 2010 3:23 p.m.

    I'd just like to hear him speak! PLEASE VALVe?
  • drewbian - April 6, 2010 3:19 p.m.

    celshaded freeman looks so sick
  • urfreegiftscom - April 6, 2010 3:14 p.m.

    Hi, Here's how to get yourself a free PS3, iPod, wii or even cash!. Just go to - urfreegifts.com It's FREE and has been­ researched by the BBC to be absolutely genuine. Simply­ go to the site and select the gift you would like or­ cash if you prefer. For full info and proof its real­ just go to urfreegifts.com
  • thomashalpenny - April 6, 2010 3:13 p.m.

    hes already amazing :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

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