20 Films Improved By Mike Leigh

Transformers (2007)

The Original: Michael Bay's juggernaut of a movie about vehicles with the amazing power to turn into robots that look exactly like other robots.

Key Scene: Optimus sets the All Spark to work, giving himself enough time to sit down for a nice cuppa.

Van Helsing (2004)

The Original: Stephen Sommers' overblown attempt to tag-team the classic Universal monsters by throwing them simultaneously at Hugh Jackman's eponymous vampire hunter in a flurry of bad CGI.

Key Scene: Helsing is brought before a magistrate for hitting a bunch of trick-or-treaters with a broomstick.

Aliens Vs Predator (2004)

The Original: Paul Thomas Anderson's "two birds with one stone" slaying of classic sci-fi franchises. Whoever wins, cinemagoers lose.

Key Scene: Pedantic Country Code follower Keith wades in to an Alien/Predator scrap to reprimand the duo for making too much noise.

Die Another Day (2002)

The Original: Franchise-wounding Bondage, as Pierce Brosnan's 007 battles with iceberg surfing, invisible cars, and Madonna as a fencing instructor.

Key Scene: James "drives" around town in his invisible car. In reality, he's shuffling along the road on his bottom in perpetual danger of being run over.

Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)

The Original: Ed Wood's cult classic about aliens invading a town populated entirely by bad actors.

Key Scene: Terry sees a flying saucer fly past his window, only to discover that it's an actual saucer flung over the garden wall by arguing neighbours.

Titanic (1997)

The Original: James Cameron's Oscar-hogging flood-fest about an ill-fated romance aboard an ill-fated boat.

Key Scene: Jack takes Rose to the front of the boat, 'cause it's the best vantage point to feed the ducks.

Street Dance 3D (2010)

The Original: Flavour of the month Cowell-cash-in in which ballet dancers are taught to bust propah moves by Diversity and George Sampson.

Key Scene: The kids' moment of epiphany, when they switch channels from Britain's Got Talent to watch Strictly Come Dancing instead.

The Avengers (1998)

The Original: Jeremiah Chechik's point-missing Hollywoodisation of the whimsical British spy classic, led by a baffled, miscast Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman.

Key Scene: At the local fete, a deluded Steed attacks a procession of performers dressed as teddy bears with an umbrella, reducing onlooking children to tears.

Suburban Commando (1991)

The Original: Hulk Hogan-starring family actioner about instellar warrior Shep Ramsey getting trapped in suburbia with Christopher Lloyd's white-collar square.

Key Scene: A pissed Beverly insists that Shep slow-dance to a Demis Roussos song.

Dungeons and Dragons (2000)

The Original: Jeremy Irons puts his kids through college as the bad guy in the lame big-screen makeover of the classic role-playing game.

Key Scene: Against his mates' advice, Marsan comes to the first date dressed as a dwarf. Fortunately, Hawkins has come as an elf. What larks.

The Passion of the Christ (2004)

The Original: Mel Gibson's flay-tastic recreation of Jesus' last hours.

Key Scene: Mary Magdalene (Imelda Staunton) climbs up on a ladder to offer Jesus a sip from her Thermos.

Clash of the Titans (2010)

The Original: Louis Leterrier's ill-advised remake of the Ray Harryhausen gods 'n monsters classic.

Key Scene: Medusa attacks Perseus with a garden hose.

Howard the Duck (1986)

The Original: George Lucas-produced failure to turn a horny alien duck into the next big kids' franchise.

Key Scene: In a hilarious misunderstanding, Spall ends up in bed with the duck.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

The Original: The Wachowski Brothers' muddled sequel to the bullet-time masterpiece: 50% overblown action, 50% verbose cod-philosophy.

Key Scene: Thomas' mum (Alison Steadman) lets loose at an illegal rave in the Home Counties.

I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

The Original: Lindsey Lohan's infamous attempt at more adult material, in which she plays stigmatic twins terrorised by a serial killer.

Key Scene: Locked together in the school overnight, nice Hawkins has to listen to nasty Hawkins' ugly conspiracy theories, while a creepy janitor (Timothy Spall) stalks them.

Kickboxer (1989)

The Original: Muy thai talented Jean Claude Van Damme kicks, boxes and writes the script. In retrospect, maybe the last of those was a bad idea.

Key Scene: After getting in yet another scrap, Oldman is giving a dressing down by his nan (Liz Smith).

Independence Day (1996)

The Original: Roland Emmerich's flag-waving vision of America defeating aliens on the 4th of July.

Key Scene: Spall sees the error of his ways and launches the rebranded restaurant - complete with fireworks - on Bonfire Night.

Alone in the Dark (2005)

The Original: Uwe Boll's video game horror about Christian Slater's supernatural detective discovering things that go bump in the cinema when the audience walks out.

Key Scene: The staff think Edward's gone loco when he organises afternoon tea for the ghosts.

Twister (1996)

The Original: Jan De Bont spends all of his cash on the meteorological effects. There's none left for a script.

Key Scene: Old secrets resurface when a "right hand red" brings Thewlis into an uncomfortable position.

Epic Movie (2007)

The Original: Vintage Friedberg/Seltzer, this is the one spoofing any film that vaguely resembles an epic and/or was popular that year.

Key Scene: The execs watch the big Narnia set-piece, now transformed into a melancholy scene where Jane Horrocks finds a box of secrets and lies inside the wardrobe.