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Need a primer for Avengers: Endgame? Sure, you might know Avengers: Infinity War like the back of your Gauntlet, but there’s an even better way to get prepared for the Phase 3-ender. And that’s by watching this new storybook recap, featuring Chrises Evans and Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Don Cheadle, Mark Ruffalo, and Jeremy Renner. It rhymes and they swear; it’s very, very great – and Hemsworth is wearing a tan suit, so you really can’t hate.
The video, which you can see above, is from Jimmy Kimmel Live and features some of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes putting on their best preschool teacher impressions.
It’s meant to recap Infinity War for a kid-friendly audience (y’know, after half the universe died) but the best parts are when they deviate from the script and just start throwing F-Bombs and blaming Thor for not killing the Mad Titan.
So, what kind of shenanigans do the Avengers get up to? Thanos’ chin gets described as, well, you-know-what on more than one occasion, and Chris Hemsworth simply says “Fuck the Avengers” to end story time with the God of Thunder. Civil War 2 starts here, trust me.
In fact, no one really takes it seriously – which is a shame because I think we can all agree that having the Avengers read you a bedtime story is the best sort of way to not think about how many of them might die later this month.
All told, it’s not actually a half-bad effort. The Thanos drawings are super cutesy, and it actually sets up Endgame pretty well. Just never, ever try and rhyme Groot with ‘soot’ again. Please. You could’ve gone must/dust, hurt/dirt or even foil/soil, yet you chose that?! My English teacher would have burst a blood vessel.
Image: Jimmy Kimmel Live/ABC
What's next? These Avengers: Endgame theories might just help us discover what's still to come.
