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Out of the blue...
Look at the sky there. That's real sky, not from a video game. Our grans would say there is enough blue there to make a sailor a new suit. Or something. Oh, you think that's weird? Well, you should see video game sky. The stuff that comes out of that puts the madness of old people's sayings to shame.
So join us as we examine the strangest things to fall out of the sky in video games and consider what would happen if the same things happened in real life...
A cow (Earthworm Jim)
In fairness, you've only got yourself to blame for this one, as right near the start of the game, you're given a situation that can only end with a cow being launched into space. Brilliantly, though, you've probably more or less forgotten about it by the end of the game, where said bovine missile crashes back down to terra firma, squashing the lovely lady you've been trying to reach and preventing the obligatory kiss for the hero from happening.
What would really happen? The cow would probably arrive burnt to a crisp having already burned up travelling through the atmosphere (unless he's related to Master Chief... which would explain why we never see Chief's face), meaning everyone could enjoy a nice BBQ beef burger. Either that or it would explode on impact. Either way, nothing funny about it. Just a lot of mess to clean up.
Tetrominos (Tetris)
There are a load of tetrominos falling from the sky and we have to arrange them into lines. But here's a question: Where are they coming from? They never stop, do they? So there must be something up there just above the screen throwing shapes at us. Is it dragon poo? It must be dragon poo. Aaaaaaand now you'll never look at Tetris the same way again. Sorry about that.
What would really happen? Well, obviously all of Russia would be buried underneath Tetrominos within a few hours. But seeing as the things never stop appearing and moving Earthwards, the world would start increasing in mass and therefore gravitational pull. The moon would start being pulled towards it, crashing into the Earth and wiping out life as we know it. All because a blimmin' 'long four' refused to fall when we had the chance for a Tetris. Tsk.
The moon (Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask)
Ah, see this is what happens when the world fails at Tetris. Not really, of course--it's the scary moon from Majora's Mask, which threatens to crash into Clock Town. And it actually does, too, or at least it does if you suck at Zelda. There's no denying it is a very strange object to have fall from the sky. Especially when it's looking at us all funny.
What would really happen? Well, pretty much the same as what happens in the game. Massive fireball, destruction on a grand scale, cats and dogs living together... Armageddon. But at least our moon wouldn't be looking at us the whole time. Not with that coathanger grin, anyways.
A balloon TV (Animal Crossing)
If only real life was like Animal Crossing. Imagine it: Someone, somewhere, carefully wrapping up pieces of rare furniture and attaching it to balloons, before setting them loose into the sky where they will travel inexorably until someone shoots them down with a catapult. Our prized balloon TV literally fell out of the sky (because we shot it down).
What would really happen? Well, even if a balloon's helium was sufficient to carry a Cathode Ray Tube for any distance, that still wouldn't explain how the TV survives the fall intact. Sure, it's covered with balloons, but surely they would burst on impact? Leaving you with a CRT with no case and probably a broken screen. Not to mention pretty significant potential for all of this mess of glass and wires to land on your head. Which, now we think of it, is probably how the 'Balloon hat' came about.
Sweets, hearts and radioactive snow (Christmas NiGHTS)
The Saturn's internal clock allowed Sonic Team to have a lot of fun hiding away time-activated secrets. Not least the various items you could find falling from the sky instead of the usual snow. Crescent moons, stars, gems, hearts and this rather lovely candy rain all make an appearance. But set your Saturn's clock to Dec 31, 2099 and you get purple snow. Like a nuclear winter. Chilling...
What would really happen? Claris and Elliot would get bruises and potential concussion from such a constant downpour of solid objects. And as for the radioactive snow... well, it's hardly the season to be jolly. More like the season to hide in a bunker for years and years. Then emerge with a shotgun to take care of the mutants. Merry Christmas!
Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
So Sora is falling from the sky. That's OK, we can appreciate the intro is very surreal and most likely a dream that he's having. But that's not the weird part. He stands there, looking skyward at this falling figure, then realises he himself is starting to fall. He does so as a concerned Kairi looks down at him. He keeps falling, down through the sky... which is where you realise you're looking at the same thing you just saw from the ground. It's the same Sora.
What would really happen? If you found yourself looking up at yourself and then becoming that very person mere seconds later? Probably some kind of temporal paradox that would force the space/time continuum to crash, leaving us all looking at the universe's blue screen of death. Let's hope that never happens.
Master Chief (Halo 3)
Right, let's get this straight. That massive orange fireball up there of Old Testament proportions is Master Chief. Just Master Chief. No rocket ship or escape pod. He's just ejected from that while still entering the atmosphere and is now blazing through the sky on all kinds of fire. He then smashes into the ground so hard he leaves a small crater. And somehow he lives through this?
What would really happen? Let's just say, for argument's sake, that Chief's armour didn't heat up to thousands of degrees centigrade, incinerating him in seconds. And also that the impact wouldn't have destroyed even the toughest suit of space marine armour. Hitting the ground and coming to a dead stop at that speed would have turned him into 'Master Jam'. Which is less a cool rapper alias and more a squidgy, near-liquid consistency. He doesn't even seem to have rag-dolled at all. Just hit the ground and stopped. Bonkers.
What have you seen?
Yeah, you know what we've gone and done. We haven't mentioned *that* thing that fell out of the sky in *that* game. Well, we're sorry. But that's OK, because you can tell us what it is in the comments and we'll read it and be like 'wow, we really should have included that thing'. And you'll feel smug. But that can't happen if you don't tell us, so do.
And if you're looking for more, check out 12 video game skyboxes that are far cooler than you think and The 7 most disturbing things about the Zelda universe.
