For a second, the new Game Boy Jukebox trailer tricked me into thinking the OG best retro handheld contender was finally getting the remake it deserves. Instead, Nintendo decided to shatter my dreams of a revamp by revealing an elaborate novelty Pokemon music player that adds salt to my wounds by using cartridges. Yes, it's cute, but I think I can speak for the console's dedicated fans when I say we're long overdue for a Game Boy Classic Edition.
Okay, here's my main beef with the Game Boy Jukebox, as it extends beyond me just wanting a tiny remake of the handheld. It could be viewed as a nice collector's model of the iconic DMG brick that's packed full of original details and plays the Pokemon Red and Blue soundtrack using a whopping 45 cartridges. However, it does that while coming in at $69.99 and providing no real functionality above playing some chiptunes out of a tiny speaker.
Context is key to my criticisms, as this Jukebox is hardly the only pricey collectible out there. The thing that's really grinding my Game Boy-loving gears is that it's $20 more than the Zelda Game and Watch from 2021 at launch, which just so happens to be the closest thing we've received to an actual remake of the 8-bit handheld so far. It's currently going for $68.99 at Amazon, and I'd rather pick that up than spend $2 more for what is basically an interactive model, even if it does only come with three games.
Now, to cut Nintendo some slack, it hasn't decided to spend money making 45 actual carts loaded with music. Each pseudo cartridge simply pushes switches inside the mock handheld that, in turn, tell it which track to play. It's weirdly the exact same approach used by Burger King's Pokemon World Talking Watches from 26 years ago, but it at least means Ninty didn't spend cash it could have used to make a proper Game Boy remake.
That said, the obscure fast-food toy comparisons highlight some major caveats with the Game Boy Jukebox even as a collectible. Baking the music into the handheld model itself means that you won't be able to buy even more carts in the future with sounds from other franchises like Mario or Zelda, and that could be deliberate. I'm not saying we'll get another version come Mar10 day, but Metroid does turn 35 on August 6.
Of course, I should highlight that this Game Boy model is technically by The Pokemon Company. Yes, Nintendo partly owns the pocket monster peddlers alongside developers Game Freak and Creatures Inc, but that may mean this collectable is completely standalone from other future Ninty projects. That said, it still feels like even a commemorative Game and Watch would have felt like a nicer handheld homage than the jukebox, and the hardware already exists to make that happen.
It's easy to see why fans are taking the need for a proper homage into their own hands, and enthusiasts are finding new ways to mod the Zelda Game and Watch handheld into a fully-fledged retro handheld. I'd have honestly taken even an official version that includes Red and Blue for the Pokemon 30th Anniversary, but it's perhaps the modding and meddling with hardware that has Ninty cagey about new gadgets in the first place.
Let's be real, if Nintendo whipped up a Game Boy remake that boasts a nice new screen and modern innards, modders would try and hack it. We're talking about a company with a long-standing aversion to such practices, and I vividly recall Ninty having early Game and Watch modding videos removed from YouTube. That is to say, the last thing it wants is to make an official portable that could be transformed into something that functions more like an Anbernic RG35XX Plus or similar clones.
That begs the question: Will we ever get a proper Game Boy remake? The optimist in me would like to think a GBA Classic Edition could still happen. But, I wouldn't listen to them since Nintendo currently wants you to buy Pokemon Fire Red and Leaf Green again for $20 rather than adding them to the NSO Classics library you're potentially already paying for.
Sadly, unless Nintendo regains interest in making mini remakes of its best retro consoles, we might have to make do with novelty models and collectables. Those naturally do very little in terms of preservation and providing new generations of players with access to the classics, and the only official thing we might now see is interactive models like the Virtual Boy and controller re-releases.
Looking for more ways to play on the go? Swing by the best gaming handhelds for portable PCs and emulation systems. If you're after more Ninty colelctables, take a peek at the best Nintendo gifts for presents, figures, and more.
