David Jaffe. He made God of War. He made (and still makes) Twisted Metal. Given his track record (we'll ignore Calling All Cars), he is a man whom you should allow to make both a horror game and a hardcore slasher film. He has expressed desires of varying degrees of seriousness to do both of these things.
Are you listening, Sony? Are you listening really, really hard?
Above: He can always keep the budget down by starring in it himself. Look at those cold steely eyes. Ooh. Chilling
Speaking on Shack News' latest Weekend Confirmed podcast, gaming's loudest gob of war revealed: "I love the world of Twisted Metal. In fact, before we green-lit God Of War we were in discussions at Sony Santa Monica about this cross between Silent Hill and Twisted Metal. Basically it was going to be a Silent Hill style game set inside the Twisted Metal universe, and so it was going to delve a lot more into that world, which I think is really cool"
Also, keep open that folder labelled 'So crazy it's basically a brilliant idea', for Jaffe has an even better thing to file within it: "I want to convince someone at Sony to give us a million dollars to go ahead and make a slasher movie with Sweet Tooth. We’d make it really low budget, really violent and really hardcore. And, y’know, we’d launch it on the PSN exclusively and then eventually we could put it out on Blu-ray"
Joking he may well have been, but seriously people, this is how you do a video game movie adaptation. Forget trying to make a non-interactive version of the in-game action. All you ever end up with there is a really short, really shit game. You know, because of the small but oft-overlooked matter of film and games being completely different media which have to operate in completely different ways.
Instead, acknowledge that aside from gameplay, the things that makes games so affecting - and their fans so loyal - are the uniquely striking worlds and atmospheres that the best developers dream up. Translate those in a meaningful way, and you've got a way to keep fans and neutral film-goers alike happy.
And seriously, a low-budget, down-and-dirty horror film from the guy who made God of War. Seriously...