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  1. Entertainment
  2. TV

50 Best Homer Simpson Quotes Of All Time

Features
By Gem Seddon published 10 April 2014

Winning words from Springfield’s resident goof

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Dinosaurs

The Quote: “I’ve gone back in time to when dinosaurs weren’t just confined to zoos.”

Why We Love It: Ah, the infiltration of Jurassic Park into social consciousness. Fantastic.

Spaceships

The Quote: “I’m like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?”

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Why We Love It: Because it’s worth letting this one slip when attending humdrum social occasions in an attempt to shake loose fellow film fans.

In The Theatre

The Quote: "Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty to make a complete ass of myself."

Why We Love It: Kudos to the writers for using Homer’s terrible public behaviour to channel their thoughts on individuals who disrupt cinema experiences. By ‘eck, who knew it was a duty?

Idiot Box

The Quote: “Television! Teacher! Mother! Secret Lover.”

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Why We Love It: If we were stranded in the middle of nowhere, we’d likely shriek the same mantra.

Quick Time

The Quote: “Forty seconds? But I want it now!”

Why We Love It: We’ve all faced the microwave timer with the same thought - even if do keep it to ourselves.

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Dentistry

The Quote: “Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours.”

Why We Love It: Well, it’s only fair, right?

Anger Management

The Quote: "Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.”

Why We Love It: Once more, it proves that following Homer’s advice is likely to result in an arrest.

School

The Quote: "The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do."

Why We Love It: Because it’s quite possibly the worst advice you could bestow upon a child.

Maturity

The Quote: “I can’t even say the word ‘titmouse’ without giggling like a schoolgirl.”

Why We Love It: Because we can’t either.

Smarts

The Quote: “Lord help me, I’m just not that bright.”

Why We Love It: He’s so honest about his shortcomings; even if it doesn’t exactly paint him in a favourable light. Aw, bless.

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Gem Seddon
Gem Seddon
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Freelance Writer

Gem Seddon is a freelance writer working to keep all of you updated on all of the latest and greatest movies and shows on streaming platforms like Netflix and Amazon Prime. Outside of entertainment journalism, Gem can frequently be found writing about the alternative health and wellness industry, and obsessing over all things Aliens and Terminator on Twitter.

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