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Mother nature
Why It's Rubbish: “Fucking trees, man, the plants,” blasted Mark Wahlberg recently while talking about M Night Shyamalan's The Happening , admitting it was “a bad movie”. Great concept, but when mankind's biggest threat can only be witnessed in the rustle of wind through the leaves, it's going to get real old, real fast.
The mutant sheep
Why It's Rubbish: Like a cross between a dead farm animal and Mr Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street , this beast is more likely to make you spit your popcorn in laughter than fear. The only thing more rubbish than the monster itself is the fact it takes almost an hour to show up as the film's many backstories and nonsensical plots play out.
The shrews
Why It's Rubbish: “Nothing out of the sky, or out of the sea or on the Earth could be more terrifying!” screams the tagline for this movie. The Advertising Association wasn't set up until two years later or we reckon they'd have been all over that statement, especially as cheese that's been in the fridge slightly too long is more terrifying than these dressed up dogs.
Gorga
Why It's Rubbish: Not the first terrible monster flick to use the old man-in-an-ape suit ruse, this one stands out because the budget only seems to have stretched to the top half of that outfit. Why else is Gorga never shown below the waist, despite having a dust up with an equally low-budget creature that makes Barney The Dinosaur look realistic?
The skeleton
Why It's Rubbish: You'll wish this particular skellie had remained lost. Brought back to life thanks to the Atmospereum from a fallen meteorite (and you thought Avatar 's Unobtanium was a rubbish name), the skeleton's psychic powers unfortunately don't stretch to willing the viewer to turn this garbage off and watch something – anything – better.
Tarantulas
Why It's Rubbish: Surely it takes more than ordinary spiders to take on The Shat? Apparently not, as a massive surge in the tarantula population leaves humans stuck inside trying to keep the enemy at bay in a style usually saved for zombie films. Our advice, try literally stamping them out.
The forest creatures
Why It's Rubbish: M Night Shyamalan’s work gets its second mention in this list thanks to his creation of a woodland enemy straight out of Jim Henson's workshop. Spoiler alert! That the creature isn't supposed to be real and has actually been built to look menacing to keep the kids from wandering into the woods is no excuse.
The leprechaun
Why It's Rubbish: Warwick Davis proves that finding a leprechaun doesn't always lead to gold as his troublesome trickster terrorises none other than Jennifer Aniston! We can almost (but not quite) forgive how rubbish this monster is for the fact the series has rumbled on to include such awesome entries as Leprechaun In Space and Leprechaun In The Hood .
The troll
Why It's Rubbish: A tiny turd of a bad guy, Troll suffers from the fact that he's even more rubbish than The Leprechaun . Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone tried (and failed) to create a really scary troll, leaving it to Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring to finish the job.
The mutant eye
Why It's Rubbish: While the film's title is correct in that this massive mutated eye does kill, we'd have preferred it if it was 'killer' like the slang expression that means awesome. And since the eye beast goes on a rampage to try and mate with the female of the species, we can't help feeling they missed a trick by not calling it An Eye For The Ladies .
The blood freak
Why It's Rubbish: The answer to the question 'Has Big Bird ever done it with a human lady?' may have been answered if the blood freak's appearance is anything to go by. The chill factor is always going to be lessened when your monster looks like it's just walked out of a Mardi Gras parade.
The clothes press
Why It's Rubbish: Remember that Tobe Hooper movie that scared you senseless where the guy had a chainsaw? Well this isn't that one. It might be from the same director and based on a Stephen King short story, but trust us, a possessed laundry machine that folds people like clothes is a lot less impressive.
