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Top 10 Grand Theft Auto secrets

It wasn’t easy compiling this list. There are just so many tiny brilliant things lurking the various cities of Grand Theft Auto - everything from tombstones that glow at night to a ‘Locals Only’ shop to Valentino Rossi’s MotoGP bike to the actual meaning of ‘burger shot’ to ridiculous posters for the Wizard of Ass - and there’s no telling which you might have seen, and which you may remain blissfully unaware of. So some of these you’ll have stumbled upon already, some will be new, and every one of them is a tiny vital fiber in the colossal overall weave that is Grand Theft Auto.

10) Body Bags

El Castillo del Diablo, Bone County, San Andreas

San Andreas may be a harsh and grizzly place, but it’s a bit of a shock to find you’re not the only reason. Somebody is up to very bad things, and using a cave tucked away in the desert to dump the remains - in a pile of horribly stiff body bags. Oddly, the serial killer’s truck is still there too, parked right where the bodies were presumably slung from its bed. You can find this worrying little scene directly south of the western end of the desert airstrip, in the rock formation shaped (on the map) like a near perfect circle.

9) Statue of Lewdity

Inside the Atrium in Commerce, San Andreas

Rockstar is hardly above using sexual innuendo for a cheap laugh, but this is - literally - a monument to it. The grand central space of this shopping mall features a broken statue that’s still quite clearly… enjoying himself, shall we say. What really lifts it above a simple knob gag is that it’s surrounded by other statues in states of obvious horror; certainly an odd tableaux to come across. So to speak. Even so, it’s quite easy to miss the first time due to the furious gun battle you get into with the Russian Mafia (Big Smoke’s mission "Just Business").

8) Taste the cock

On the uniforms in any Cluckin’ Bell restaurant

And you thought ‘finger lickin’ chicken’ was bad… there are many, many jokes about cocks in Grand Theft Auto, but this is perhaps the best in a really blatant, ‘My God, I can’t believe they got away with that!’ kind of way. At least one barrel short of a double entendre, it nevertheless makes a kind of sense in context. Taking a look for yourself is an even better reason to hop over the counter than robbery. Also, you can feel a bit better knowing that the employee will probably thank you for shooting him dead and putting him out of his misery.

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6 comments

  • brownsnake01 - April 18, 2012 6:16 a.m.

    romero could reference john romero - the famous zombie movie director. hence him being the manager of a place FOR dead people
  • jordanwhite - May 20, 2010 5:25 p.m.

    There are lights but they are just that, lights, they are balls of light with a white line trailing behind them.
  • JosefMotley - January 2, 2010 9:16 a.m.

    i hate all the obviously made up secrets as much as the next man but i have to say i too have seen these lights in the sky. and in the sea, i swam over to one and it kind of flew off. they don't look so much like UFOs as little glitchy suns. i just thought it was a typical bug. and the planes falling out the sky thing has happened to me LOADS
  • Gingerbread - October 23, 2008 1:33 a.m.

    i knew about a couple of these but still those are pretty crazy! wow...
  • Joey_1001 - September 21, 2008 5:16 p.m.

    Woah loads of stuff i didnt no there but the lights in the sky one is TRUE just google Jammy_0002 he is ma mate n he gave me a copy of his san andreas save file and he has a complete collection of strange lights in the sky on his photo album so they do exist, or in your words, HIT.
  • Mace_Starwalker - January 10, 2009 10:13 p.m.

    hey u forgot about the secret it Vice city stories yo. This is a glitch that unlocks the second island early. You know that police bribe that lowers your wanted level on that mound of dirt/sand near escobar international and an empire site in Little Havanna? Well theres a pipe behind it..you jump from top of mound onto the pipe again and again until you glitch through the ground and u make a faceplant into leaf links. Another way is you take a yankee truck and go to starfish island, diaz's mansion and park it facing away from second island as close to water as you can with rite weels touching bridge (you should have a tree on ur rite)get out of the truck jump on top of it and get to back of the truck's roof and jump towards the bridge. You should end up on the pedestrian walkway and on the other side of the invisible wall. Congrats you just unlocked the second island EARLY.

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