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The worst Nintendo movies that must not be made

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Nintendo's Reggie has just revealed that the company is still inundated with Hollywood offers of movies based upon its franchises. Games like Metroid are solid-gold no-brainers, but Nintendo also has a much wider pantheon of characters to crib from. And thinking about it, that pantheon throws up the stuff of cinematic nightmares.

Please Nintendo, if you are going to license out any movies, don't make them these...




24 March 2010

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19 comments

  • Crimmy - November 8, 2010 12:16 a.m.

    NO METROID MOVIE!!! Seriously, it would be like Other M. They'd introduce other characters, who'd look like shit in the mteroid universe, which would make it bad. If it were solitary, then there would be no talking, and it would be boring after ten minutes. And I'm not even mentioning all the power-ups. Either way, it would suck.
  • WTeen8 - November 7, 2010 9:06 p.m.

    Franchises that would make good movies (Nintendo only): Zelda, Metroid, Star Fox (Star Wars with Furries), and Pokemon which has had 13 movies already anyway. Anything else?
  • Cyberninja - March 25, 2010 9:46 p.m.

    thank god nintendo learns from their mistakes and dont make movies and before any fanboy say the wii is a mistake nintendo is the bussiness to make money not to please you.
  • Conman93 - March 25, 2010 5:37 p.m.

    @pin316 I agree. A zelda movie done right could be mindblowingly awesome
  • pin316 - March 25, 2010 4:29 p.m.

    yep, already had the pokemon movies, plus who remembers that hella-awful mario movie they made in the early 90's... agree that metroid is an awesome premise for a film, and there wouldn't be too many fanboy stumbling points - as long as they got Samus right (assuming you ever saw her out of her suit in the movie, that is) the rest is just making a decent bunch of anonymous aliens and lcations... zelda, on the other hand, part of me would love to see it, but the other part hopes it never gets made - there are too many potentially basic screw-ups that could destroy the film... 1) need a decent choice for Link 2) need a decent portrayal of Ganon/Ganondorf 3) a decent choice for zelda plus the locations and lower-enemies factors that you get in Metroid...can you imagine if they screwed up just one of those three - fanboy apocalypse!
  • philipshaw - March 25, 2010 1:49 p.m.

    I mean these
  • philipshaw - March 25, 2010 1:48 p.m.

    This are great, I would like to see them made just to laught at them
  • speno93 - March 25, 2010 5:26 a.m.

    The metroid series is definately movie material, you got the sci-fi, you got the atmosphere, you got the cool weapons and the aliens to kill them with, and of course Samus in her Zero suit which will automatically attract billions of nerds.
  • linkganon - March 25, 2010 3:28 a.m.

    hmm, can't think of any games that nintendo creates that could become a movie. you notice that Little Mac and Rocky Balboa are in a way similar. they both are underdogs and usually end up fighting guys pumped up with the roids. konami wouldn't have much of a problem making a metal gear solid movie, but still, it would probably suck considering they do not combine, but this series is the closest we really get to a movie game. Just look at harry gregson-williams, he composes a lot of the music for the game and hell, he's been making music for movies. on the 2nd MGS game, the music was created BEFORE the game.
  • fattoler - March 25, 2010 3:01 a.m.

    @GameManiac PETA would blow a gasket.
  • GameManiac - March 25, 2010 2:49 a.m.

    I agree with gopikmin. There's already 12 Pokemon movies made, with a thirteenth on the way (the one introducing Zorua and Zoroark). Most of those were actually in theaters (Pokemon: The First Movie, Pokemon: The Movie 2000, Pokemon: Lucario and the Mystery of Mew, etc.). Did Hollywood slip into a coma those particular days? I wonder how a real life Pokemon movie would turn out? ... ... ... ...... ...Hmm...
  • gopikmin - March 25, 2010 1:52 a.m.

    @justinbanda so you haven't heard/seen of the last 10+ pokemon movies. Pokemon: The First Movie or Pokemon 2000 doesn't ring any bells
  • sveini22 - March 24, 2010 8:45 p.m.

    fox gun whoud have been an awsome movie
  • Awesomeforthemasses - March 24, 2010 7:21 p.m.

    Nearly pissed myself laughing at "Peter Pan".
  • RebornKusabi - March 24, 2010 6:37 p.m.

    I'm on a "Wait and See" approach for the "Prince of Persia" movie. If it does well, then I think there's still hope. In my opinion though, the way that Jon Favreau has been handling how Iron Man works, I think that if we get lucky and get a director who is a fan of Metroid like he is of Iron Man, we could probably end up with a fairly decent Metroid adaptation.
  • spideralex90 - March 24, 2010 6:13 p.m.

    Haha, Uwe Boll, what a joke.
  • TURbo - March 24, 2010 4:54 p.m.

    If only Uwe Boll had a Michael Bay $200,000,000 budget.
  • frmonth - March 24, 2010 4:47 p.m.

    If nintendo let micheal bay make these the internet would exsplode with hate. Or Uwe Bowl for that matter.
  • justinbanda - March 24, 2010 4:46 p.m.

    First :P I'd really like a Zelda movie, or even (possibly) a Metroid film. Pokemon, Mario, Kirby, and Fox aren't really movie material. In fact, Nintendo doesn't have all that much that can be turned into a movie. I'm still waiting for my God of War movie, Santa Monica ;)

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