Shrek the Third

With the advent of summer comes the third film of the franchise. With the advent of the third film comes the inevitable game tie-in. And with the advent of the game comes the unavoidable groans as we’re forced to play yet another distinctly average movie-to-game tie-in.

This time around you’re subject to a platform experience in which you play as the green-skinned ogre himself. Later on, you’ll also get to take control of Donkey, Puss In Boots and others, but with repetitive gameplay consisting of collecting coins and orbs, beating up enemies and jumping around linear levels, it really doesn’t make that much difference who you’re playing.

There are some enjoyable minigames but invisible walls, an unfunny script and crappy sound-a-likes in place of the film’s all-star voiceover cast are just the beginning of the bad stuff. Within barely 30 seconds of the game being turned on, someone bears down on your character and you’re told to “Press [an icon of a green hand] to punch.” But even in the control set-up screen, there’s no mention of the icons. So you’re just left to figure it out for yourself, while your character gets a pasting and you stare befuddled at the screen.