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Nine Virtual Boy games the 3DS can completely redeem

Teleroboxer

Essentially Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! with robots instead of humans, Teleroboxer focused more on pattern recognition than actual boxing techniques. And just like Punch-Out!!, this unique approach turned what could have been a bland, back-and-forth fist-off into a complicated series of counters, tells and last-minute wins.


Above: A promo video (narrated by Cam “Liquid Snake” Clarke) shows off some gameplay

A remake would have to be heavily altered though – Teleroboxer becomes insanely difficult early on, which is partly due to the small number of opponents; with only nine enemy boxers, of course it’s going to get tough by the third or fourth fight. That means we’d want to see an expanded cast of ‘bots in a possible remake, plus a challenge level that steadily increases, not spikes. As for the 3D effects, the boxers’ fists would pound right into your eyes, and their actual bodies seemed far away, so all we’d really want added is a crowd and arena to really sell the atmosphere.


Above: This isn’t saying much, but this did have the best graphics on the system 

While we loved Wii’s Punch-Out, the 3DS would be a perfect chance to turn Teleroboxer into a whole new franchise. It certainly seemed like the last Punch-Out!! came and went without much fanfare, so maybe it’s time to revisit the idea of super-stylized robots pounding the hell out of each other… now in 3D!


Mario’s Tennis

Would you believe this is the first real Mario sports game? Before the N64 golf and tennis entries, there was Mario’s Tennis, which also happened to be the Virtual Boy’s pack-in game. Gameplay was rudimentary, and lacked all the flash and silliness that came to define the Mario Sports series, but as a 3D showpiece it worked fairly well.


Above: The court really did appear to stretch into the background. But that’s impossible to illustrate with screens 

There’s no reason to remake this exact game, as it’s frightfully bare-bones by today’s standards. The sport is a perfect fit for 3D gaming though, with its long court and bright, identifiable ball offering an easily grasped 3D sensation. Nintendo’s already shown it can make fun, accessible tennis titles, so don’t be surprised if this (or some variation) makes its way to 3DS before too long.


Nester’s Funky Bowling

Who’s doing what now? I’m not sure if Nintendo Power’s comic book mascot is known outside the US, but for those who read the magazine from 1989 to 1993, he was the co-star of a “Howard & Nester” comic that essentially just advertised new games (but some of them really stick out). After a few cameos in other NES games, he was finally allowed to “star” in his own Virtual Boy title, Nester’s Funky Bowling.


Above: Congratulations? 

There’s no way in hell Nester will receive top billing again. But the idea, of a solid bowling game to launch a new 3D system, is still a smart move. Or more likely, a sports compilation that combines bowling, tennis and uh, let’s say golf, into one cart. Wii Sports made it work – why not try it again with a 3D system that doesn’t fry your synapses?


Above: Strange that it’s not “funky” at all. It’s regular bowling

As with Mario’s Tennis, this is way too sparse to exist as its own game, and even if Nintendo did clean it up and add some extra bells and whistles, people have become accustomed to 3-in-1 sports packs. Sure, a Mario-specific tennis or bowling game might stand alone, but perhaps a simple “3D Sports” game, done like Wii Sports, would be a quick way to lure in the mainstream.

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22 comments

  • Deathstalker83 - January 19, 2011 6:53 p.m.

    I still got my Virtual Boy.but it needs fixed. lol
  • hermanmcclain - January 14, 2011 2:57 a.m.

    Should Nintendo revamp the Virtual Boy games for 3DS; i'd love to see them go after their cancelled VB games like the 3-D Super Mario, F-Zero, and Starfox. 3-D Super Mario footage: http://www.youtube.com/user/Grooveraider?feature=mhum#p/u/172/H10SJ3_NnDE
  • GamesRadarBrettElston - January 14, 2011 12:50 a.m.

    @Neel It merely starred Mario, it wasn't called "mario's golf" or anything, and had no "Mario-eqsue" features to it, like trick shots and so on. Mario's Tennis has a full cast, prominently features Mario and co throughout the game, so for me that's the beginning.
  • WTeen8 - January 13, 2011 5:19 p.m.

    Nintendo are you reading this?
  • NeelEvil - January 13, 2011 11:42 a.m.

    @ Brett- Golf on the original game boy was actually the first Mario sports game, released in 1989.
  • CaptainSalmon - January 12, 2011 5:09 p.m.

    You could have probably named this "3/4 of the entire Virtual Boy library". Other than most of these seem like games (if not the actual game, but rather the concept/idea) that will inevitably come to the 3DS. 3DS Mario Clash. You saw it first here folks!
  • CancerMan - January 12, 2011 3:58 p.m.

    Wait a minute I actually had something like the Virtual Boy except the only game I can remember playing was baseball. And Brett, you need to face facts there are only EIGHT.
  • Japanaman - January 12, 2011 3:46 p.m.

    Yeah, I already came up with a list of VB titles that should be on 3DS. You nailed them all, but honestly, I would much rather see Tetrisphere from N64 on 3DS than 3D Tetris.
  • philipshaw - January 12, 2011 3 p.m.

    Only Brett could write an article like this and I love him for it
  • Baron164 - January 12, 2011 1:27 p.m.

    Man I loved Red Alarm, Mario's Tennis and Galactic Pinball. There was also another Tetris game that got released, it was called V-Tetris and was bar far the better version. It's also the version I have. I have a lot of fond memories of the Virtual Boy, all though portability was not one of them.
  • chrisbg99 - January 12, 2011 7:01 a.m.

    What no Waterworld?
  • GamesRadarBrettElston - January 12, 2011 5:58 a.m.

    ^ That's why I capitalized NINE, because Pluto's a planet until I say otherwise. Science didn't consult me on this.
  • R_U_Guys_From_British - January 12, 2011 3:32 a.m.

    @ Brett There's actually only 8 planets in our solar system, Pluto lost its planet status in 2006 and is now classed as a planetoid. Just sayin.
  • Styrophoamicus - January 12, 2011 3:03 a.m.

    Wario sounds like Snidely Whiplash, if Snidely Whiplash was a pedophile
  • TheElephantManchurianCandidate - January 12, 2011 1:07 a.m.

    That bowling sure was cool *nudge* *nudge* *wink*
  • EroticInvisibleMan - January 12, 2011 12:05 a.m.

    http://www.sydlexia.com/top100vb.htm Best site on the subject.
  • AdonisX82 - January 12, 2011 12:01 a.m.

    1 - I'm not gonna lie, teleroboxers graphics looked damned good. Terrible name though 2 - Give red alarm a further draw distance, textures and some more speed, starfox. badda bing. 3 - Did red alarm seem to go faster than tetris? Is tetris REALLY that graphic intensive!?!??!
  • therawski - January 11, 2011 11:45 p.m.

    You can hold the entire library of virtual boy games in one hand, if they made remakes for 3ds, you should be able to hold that same library between two toes for no more than $10
  • NappyAfro - January 11, 2011 11:38 p.m.

    I dunno, I must be one of the rare owners of the Virtual Boy who actually loved the thing.
  • garnsr - January 11, 2011 10:48 p.m.

    I didn't know they even made nine games for the Virtual Boy.

Showing 1-20 of 22 comments

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