50 video games explained really badly

Mario Kart

An anthropomorphic dinosaur attempts to murder two Italian plumbers, before passing the whole thing off as a car accident.

God of War

Rebellious offspring ruins the annual family get-together.

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

Cagey war veteran forms idealistic militia, starts by recruiting troops at gunpoint with a banana.

Alan Wake

Horror writer scares himself half to death, starts shooting at anything that moves.

Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor

Undead mogul forms his own orcs-only talent agency, proceeds to push his clients to the top.

Hotline: Miami

Overeager delivery boy mucks around in animal masks, makes an absolute killing.

Super Smash Bros.

Cute, loveable mascots brutalise one other for no discernible reason.

Grand Theft Auto 4

Irritating cousin drives 'man of peace' relative to murderous crime spree.

Super Stardust HD

Humanity prepares to colonise the galaxy by wiping out all other indigenous life forms, and most of the rocks.

LittleBigPlanet

A race of burlap sack-people is forced to complete an infinite number of complex courses. Viewers are encouraged to design and add their own.

When he's not busy saving small animals from dangerous brush fires, Sam enjoys writing about the weird world of video games. All-time favourites include Half-Life 2, Knights of the Old Republic, GTA: Vice City and Final Fantasy 10. Last year, Sam finally succeeded in besting Rayman 1 for PlayStation, leaving his life utterly without meaning.