50 video games explained really badly


A distraught mother attempts to reclaim her daughter from the clutches of a freak show devil-boy.

The Sims

A race of moronic humanoids requires round-the-clock care. You are their caregiver.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

A team of tooled up professionals exposes some rather lax security at the airport.

Call of Duty 2

Nazi Germany keeps leaving its stuff on Russia's side of the divide. Russia is less than pleased.


Spaceman rallies peaceful tribes; begins brutal war of attrition.

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater

A distraught adrenaline junkie attempts to wheel himself off a cliff. Sadly, all of the available edges are curved upwards.

Animal Crossing

Animal cult conspires to keep local human as wage slave.

WWE 2K15

A comedically inept dance troupe attempts to put on a local show; performers proceed to run into one another, drop their partners and fall through several wooden tables.

Soul Calibur

A renaissance faire turns nasty when a local bondage enthusiast turns up to sour the mood.

Resident Evil

A group of god-awful actors vie for the 'worst performance' award while staying at a local mansion.

Samuel James Riley
When he's not busy saving small animals from dangerous brush fires, Sam enjoys writing about the weird world of video games. All-time favourites include Half-Life 2, Knights of the Old Republic, GTA: Vice City and Final Fantasy 10. Last year, Sam finally succeeded in besting Rayman 1 for PlayStation, leaving his life utterly without meaning.