50 video games explained really badly


Highly suggestible tourist murders swathes of addicts in a swanky undersea fish bowl.


Architect tests structural integrity via cruel death march.

The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings

Albino warrior attempts to clear his name of 'kingslaying' by standing next to several kings as they're slain.


Second earth-based life form to develop weapons tech conducts a bitter civil war.

Dead Space

Late-arriving man runs into a spot of bother while searching for his unpredictable girlfriend.

Mirror's Edge

Someone really good at parkour attempts to outrun a group of people who are also really good at parkour.

Shadow of the Colossus

Teenage adrenaline junkie attempts to impress his beau by riding a set of irate rock monsters, rodeo-style.


A highly evolved Jawa tries to escape Tatooine; ends up on Hoth.


Corporate mogul organises a martial arts tourney in order to kick seven bells out of his family.


A young Tim Burton's morning commute.

Samuel James Riley
When he's not busy saving small animals from dangerous brush fires, Sam enjoys writing about the weird world of video games. All-time favourites include Half-Life 2, Knights of the Old Republic, GTA: Vice City and Final Fantasy 10. Last year, Sam finally succeeded in besting Rayman 1 for PlayStation, leaving his life utterly without meaning.