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31. FIFA 14 (Limited Edition)
30. FIFA 14 (AU)
"I love to sing-a! About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a!"
29. Chemical Spillage Simulation
Yes, that is a real game that exists. No, I don't have any idea who would want to simulate the act of cleaning up toxic waste. Yes, Excalibur Publishing certainly covered all their bases with three--count 'em, three--different hazardous material stickers on those barrels. No, that poor man did not get paid enough to pose for a picture in that suit.
Article continues below28. Lost Planet 3
"See that colossal mech, way in the distance behind me? Pretty cool, right? Wanna see more of it? Well too f'ing bad, because I want you to know just how cold I am. See all those flakes of snow in my beard? Notice how my lips are turning purple? Even my eyelashes are covered in bits of frost. But I'm man enough to deal with it. Whatchu know about my turtleneck game, huh?" I get it, Jim Peyton--the surface of E.D.N. III is freezing. I only have one question: Is that Akrid blood on your shoulder, or did you miss your mouth while attempting to drink carrot juice?
27. Franchise Hockey Manager
When you put a real-life hockey puck (which has inexplicably caught fire) next to your ClipArt-looking logo, it only makes it look that much dumber. And it looks like there's a puddle of urine dirtying the ice in the upper right.
26. Deadfall Adventures
"Hey guys, check it out! This dude is shooting me in the head at point blank with a sparkler meant to look like a revolver! HAH! What an idiot. Time to devour this Indiana Jones wannabe, bandolier and all."
25. Criminal Stories: Presumed Partners
You may not know this, but forensics are all the rage in the HOG (Hidden Object Game) community. That doesn't make these CSI rejects any less dreary. And I was so distracted, so captivated, so transfixed by the horrendously Photoshopped eyes on the Caucasian gentleman, I almost didn't notice the seemingly dead woman who was bound, gagged, and bloodied on the bottom left of this box art. Ugh.
24. IHF Handball Challenge 13
I've never had the displeasure of spectating professional handball, but I have to wonder: do all handball athletes look like they're about to cry when they have the ball?
23. Phineas and Ferb: Quest for Cool Stuff
This seems like pretty standard kiddy fare. We only have a couple of issues: someone forgot to color in the left sneaker of Phineas' mech, and that treasure chest in the bottom right is literally the seventh result for the search term "treasure chest" on Google Images. Also, Ferb would probably be mulched into a bloody paste within seconds if he were standing atop a giant drill. And--hold on a sec, is that?
