Forget the GTA IV realism mod. A base-jumping, stunt-biking elephant is what you really need

So now there's a Grand Theft Auto IV mod that lets you play as an Elephant instead of Niko. The elephant looks to have access to at least the ground and water vehicles and can use them with extreme prejudice. This video needs to be seen. The motorised carnage starts at 2:40.

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Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.