No jokes were harmed during the making of this feature

The Flintstones (1994)

The Credit: A joke that started out quite subtle and amusing (replacing Universal Studios with "Univershell") quickly gets tired when we're told we're watching "A Steven SpielROCK production."

Hot Fuzz (2007)

The Credit: To reflect the fact that Bill Bailey is playing identical twins, he gets identical credits for playing Sergeant Turner.

Joe's Apartment (1996)

The Credit: Pedantry has never looked so wry as we're told that Joe's Apartment was "Filmed entirely in New York City except for one scene we had to go to Newark for."

Brassed Off (1996)

The Credit: The film's composer, conductor, orchestrator and music producer: Trevor Jones is also rightly credited as "Person With Most Credits."

Star Wars Episode 2: Attack Of The Clones (2002)

The Credit: Michael Smith is credited as "Javva The Hutt." This isn't a joke; Smith actually runs a coffee bar of that name at Industrial Light & Magic.

The Man With Two Brains (1983)

The Credit: According to a note at the end of the film, TV host Merv Griffin (aka The Elevator Killer) "did not turn himself in and is at large. If you have any information as to his whereabouts, call your local theatre manager."

Caveman (1981)

The Credit: Embarrassment by proximity, as Richard Moll has to share his credit with unlikely stablemates.

Dead Man Walking (1995)

The Credit: Tim Robbins pays back-handed compliment to Steenbeck by revealing that "This Film Was Edited On Old Fashioned Machines."

Caddyshack (1980)

The Credit: The role of Mr. Gopher is attributed to "Chuck Rodent."

Phantasm II (1988)

The Credit: The copyright notice gets meta as audiences learn that "violators will face severe civil and criminal penalties and the wrath of the Tall Man."

The Killer Elite (1975)

The Credit: It's hard to tell if this one is a joke or a pompous legal declaration.

Deuce Bigelow Male Gigolo (2000)

The Credit: In possibly the film's best joke, the American Humane Association is teased with the declaration that "Only one fish was harmed during the making of this film. But he feels better now."

Curse of the Queerwolf (1988)

The Credit: Probably the sickest joke at the expense of the ubiquitous animal rights disclaimer, as we're told, "No dogs were harmed in the making of this film... We shot them all at the wrap party."

The Battle Of The River Plate (1956)

The Credit: A possible reason why movies never used to credit everybody.

The Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert (1994)

The Credit: Suitably for a movie about drag queens, we're told that this was "Filmed in Dragarama."

Fargo (1996)

The Credit: Storyboard artist J. Todd Anderson goes incognito as "Victim in Field," the role attributed to Symbol (as in The Artist Formerly Known as Prince).

Scarface (1932)

The Credit: In a far cry from the remake's ultra-violent bling, 1930s audiences were given this somewhat po-faced lecture:

"This picture is an indictment of gang rule in America and of the callous indifference of the government to this constantly increasing menace to our safety and our liberty. Every incident in this picture is the reproduction of an actual occurence, and the purpose of this picture is to demand of the government: "What are you going to do about it?". The government is your government. What are YOU going to do about it?"

The Informant! (2009)

The Credit: In homage to Airplane! the opening caption informs us that, "While this motion picture is based on real events, certain incidents and characters are composites, and dialog has been dramatized. So there."

Coming To America (1988)

The Credit: There's a long tradition of acknowledging fictional entities in credits, but possibly the subtlest shout-out is this film's thank you to the Zamundan film authority.

Fatal Attraction (1987)

The Credit: Bizarre syntax, as the simple matter of acknowledging that Fatal Attraction was the writer's reworking of his own TV movie somehow unravelled into: "Screenplay by James Dearden, for the screenplay based on his earlier screenplay."

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (2009)

The Credit: Auteur theory be damned. This one begins with the caption, "A Film By… A Lot Of People."

The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear (1991)

The Credit: The answer to that question you'd always wanted to know. "What the Hell is a Grip? ... Person responsible for maintenance and adjustment to equipment on the set."

Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994)

The Credit: Never mind who did the film's make-up, somebody's wasting their car battery!

The Bank Dick (1940)

The Credit: W.C. Fields has a laugh at the expense of crap butler-based comedy by crediting his script to "Mahatma Kane Jeeves" (trans. "My hat, my cane, Jeeves!").

Ocean's 11 (2001)

The Credit: How do you make your biggest star stand out in a cast full of stars? Steven Soderbergh takes things back to basics by "introducing Julia Roberts as Tess."

Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004)

The Credit: Statistically, it was inevitable that, at some point, a film would use this gag. "Based on actual events. Only the people, places and events have been changed."

Multiplicity (1996)

The Credit: In a cheeky foreshadowing of the film's cloning plot, the first few opening credits are repeated several times.

Moonraker (1979)

The Credit: Apparently, this 007 movie was filmed at "Pinewood Studios (London) and on location in Italy, Brazil, Guatemala, U.S.A. and Outer Space!" Sure, Cubby Broccoli, we believe you.

Mary Poppins (1964)

The Credit: The film goes all Countdown conundrum, as the letters in the name of the actor playing Mr. Dawes Sr. (Nackvid Keyd) rearrange themselves to reveal the star's true identity is Dick Van Dyke.

Clerks (1994)

The Credit: The familiar cry of a thousand zero-budget, made-on-the-hoof indie films, as "Initial Incompetent Sound Editor" Scott Mosier is joined in the credits by "Accomplished Sound Editor" James Von Buelow. As for the boom operator? "Whoever grabbed the pole."

Genevieve (1953)

The Credit: Years before the Americans started getting silly, us Brits were piling on the dry wit. A case in point:

Dumb & Dumber (1994)

The Credit: With commendable commitment to dumbness, the typo-laden opening credits misspell "Produced" as "Prodoosed" and "Directed" as "Durected."

True Grit (2010)

The Credit: Ethan Coen's son Buster, who worked as an assistant script supervisor on the film, is instead credited as "Matt Damon's Abs Double."

Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993)

The Credit: Hidden in the song credits is this gem: "I GOT A LOT OF HAIR FOR A BALD GUY AND IF I WEAR IT LIKE THIS YOU WON'T NOTICE" by Michael Bolton.

Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life (1983)

The Credit: Finally, somebody remembers to thank the fish.

"The Producers would like to thank all the fish who have taken part in this film. We hope that other fish will follow the example of those who have participated, so that, in future, fish all over the world will live together in harmony and understanding, and put aside their petty differences, cease pursuing and eating each other and live for a brighter, better future for all fish, and those who love them."

Dogma (1999)

The Credit: Kevin Smith redefines the dictionary.

Disclaimer: 1) a renunciation of any claim to or connection with; 2) disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own ass; 4) a foresaid word for not being blamed later. Though it'll go without saying ten minutes or so into these proceedings, View Askew would like to state that this film is from start to finish a work of comedic fantasy, not to be taken seriously. To insist that any of what follows is incendiary or inflammatory is to miss our intention and pass undue judgment; and passing judgment is reserved for God and God alone (this goes for you film critics too... just kidding). So please before you think about hurting someone over this trifle of a film, remember: even God has a sense of humor. Just look at the Platypus. Thank you and enjoy the show. P.S. We sincerely apologize to all Platypus enthusiasts out there who are offended by that thoughtless comment about Platypi. We at View Askew respect the noble Platypus, and it is not our intention to slight these stupid creatures in any way. Thank you again and enjoy the show.

The Old Dark House (1932)

The Credit: Cashing in on Frankenstein fever, the producers add a note to explain that: "Karloff, the mad butler in this production, is the same Karloff who created the part of the mechanical monster in " Frankenstein ". We explain this to settle all disputes in advance, even though such disputes are a tribute to his great versality."

Robocop (1987)

The Credit: "This motion picture is protected under the laws of the United States and other countries and its unauthorized duplication, distribution or exhibition may result in civil liability and criminal prosecution by enforcement droids." Omni-Consumer Products must be a supplier to Hollywood.

Borat (2006)

The Credit: "Mr. Baron Cohen's feces provided by Jason Alper." Too much information.

What's Up Tiger Lily? (1966)

The Credit: While Woody Allen watches a stripper do her thang on the left hand side of the screen, the credits roll down the right until we get this message:

Z (1969)

The Credit: Writer Jorge Semprun and director Costa-Gavras dispense with subtlety in their political drama about Greece's military dictatorship: "Any resemblance to actual events, to persons living or dead, is not the result of chance. It is DELIBERATE."

Hot Shots! (1991)

The Credit: After transfixing us to our seats with credits which include a recipe for brownie toppings and 'Things To Do After The Movie,' it ends:

Clerks 2 (2006)

The Credit: Kevin Smith kept his word that he would acknowledge everyone listed as a friend on his MySpace page - even if many cinemas cut the credits short.

The Taming Of The Shrew (1929)

The Credit: "By William Shakespeare, with additional dialogue by Sam Taylor" - a credit that has passed into legend, despite arguments still raging as to whether it ever actually appeared on screen.

An American Werewolf In London (1981)

The Credit: An oft-copied gag making probably its finest appearance: "All characters and events in this film are fictitious. Any similarity to actual events or persons, living, dead, or undead, is purely coincidental."

This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

The Credit: Even giving the game away about the film's mockumentary nature becomes a joke. "The band Spinal Tap is fictional. And there's no Easter Bunny, either!"

Scream (1996)

The Credit: Wes Craven got revenge for his chosen location pulling out of a verbal agreement days before shooting, by adding a sarcastic "No thanks whatsoever to the Santa Rosa City School District Governing Board" to the closing credits.

Enter The Void (2009)

The Credit: All of 'em, depicted in a dazzling variety of epilepsy-inducing, stroboscopic fonts.

Airplane! (1980)

The Credit: The king of daft credits, including: "Author of A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens," "Foreez - A Jolly Good Fellow" and (a gag repeated in most Zucker / Abrahams / Zucker movies) "Worst Boy - Adolf Hitler."

Monty Python And The Holy Grail (1975)

The Credit: The greatest opening credits in cinema history, as rogue Swedes takes over the film ("Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti") and the producers scramble to find responsible subtitlers. A sustained five-minute gag, the best thing is that it only happened because the film was under-length.