Sexism much? Cargasm gives winning racers women to add to their in-game "Cargasm Harem"

Harems; can't live with them, can't drive without them. At least, so goes the bewilderingly deviant design philosophy behind the newly announced arcade racer, Cargasm.

Pitched as 'arcade racing at its purest', Cargasm will feature 45 upgradable supercars, over-the-top arcade physics and a number of meticulously recreated real-world locales including San Francisco, London, Egypt, Yosemite National Park and beyond. Most uniquely, gamers will also be tasked with collecting and grooming their own harem of Cargasm girls who, amongst other off-track activities, will play a key role in cheering players on as they race for coveted ecstasy points to be used in the purchase of performance enhancing goodies and trophies.

Still wondering what the harem girls actually DO? Here’s a quote from the press release:

“During races, players will be constantly exhorted to go faster by a bevy of Cargasm Girls. If they are fast enough, players can collect these ravishing maidens for their own personal Cargasm Harem. As the players win races, new cars, Ecstasy points and trophies can also be unlocked and uploaded to an online global leaderboard.”

“The trophies that can be won include Cargasm Rave, Thrust, Lesbos, Orgy, Gigolo, Lothario, Playboy and the most coveted of all, Cargasm Sultan.” How subtle. “Our focus is on pure racing fun rather than simulation.,” follows up Ajith Ram, Creative Director of Cargasm, “We are expecting gamers to go oooh aahh aahhh...with gaming ecstasy.”

For those aroused by technical facts, Cargasm's recently launched website is touting 'the most photo-realistic cities yet', including a Central London location that will mirror its real-world locale down to the last building facade, window frame and (we're assuming) seedy back alley massage parlor.

Cargasm will come shipped with a bevy of multi-player modes and social networking support. It is set for release on all major platforms and conspicuously locked bedrooms everywhere.

Check out the full specs at www.lovegasm.com, or at publisher Candella’swebsite. Or don’t. We’ve a sneaking suspicion this one may never make it out of the garage.

Aug 10, 2010