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It’s the penultimate episode of Merlin ever! And our young seeker of spoilers is bubbling over with excitement and anticipation as he once again journeys to the cave of the Great Dragon for information. Will he never learn?
Seeker: “Great Dragon! Great Dragon! I come seeking… oh, you have company.”
Great Dragon: “I do indeed. We needed to discuss ‘The Diamond Of The Day, Part One.’ Please let me introduce my esteemed colleagues. This is Yoda…”
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Yoda: “Greetings, youngling. The thirst for knowledge within you is strong.”
Great Dragon: “And this is the Architect of the Matrix…”
The Architect: “Deconstruction of the cathode artifice is essential for the dissemination of information. To wit, welcome.”
Great Dragon: “And you’ve met Queen Mab…”
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Queen Mab: “So good to see you again, my friend, With Merlin nearing its ultimate end.”
Great Dragon: “Together we form the League Of Slightly Obscure Ramblers Society.”
Seeker: “So you’re losers?”
Great Dragon: “I beg your pardon?”
Seeker: “League Of… Oh, never mind.”
Yoda: “Seen the episode we have.”
The Architect: “Experiential exposure to the digital illusion has been initiated. Ergo, asseveration will commence.”
Queen Mab: “Morgana empowered with knowledge anew, Sends some sucker to Merlin to make him feel blue.”
Yoda: “Foreboding music, the episode opens with.”
The Great Dragon: “And Merlin loses something important.”
The Architect: “Antecedently he deceives Arthur by means of a recreational duplicity with mathematical precision.”
Queen Mab: “Faces from the past make an appearance One’s a bit Yoda, but with less incoherence.”
Yoda: “Make fun of my speech patterns, do you?”
Great Dragon: “Now, now. No arguing.”
Seeker: “But does it feel like it’s leading up to something big?”
Great Dragon: “Indeed it does. Then it delivers something big.”
Yoda: “Jawdropping, the cliffhanger is.”
The Architect: “And with multiple aspects.”
Great Dragon: “If it’s action you’re after you won’t be left wanting. It goes into full Lord Of The Rings mode at times.”
Queen Mab: “And the knights get to do what knights do best, With Gwaine getting a little more action than the rest”
Great Dragon: “Really Mab, please behave…!”
Yoda: “Strong and supportive Gwen is. Suspicious maybe too…”
Great Dragon: “Arthur is disappointed with Merlin.”
The Architect: “Predictions and portents assimilate into a path none can turn from. Ergo, the eventuality of a anomalous message amounts to a potential signifier for Arthur.”
Seeker: “Does he even speak in English?”
Great Dragon: “Sort of.”
Yoda: “A present, Morgana gives Mordred.”
Great Dragon: “There are a couple of lines that are crafty a nod to the fact that we’re nearing the end of the show.”
Queen Mab: “There’s a cave, you’ll not be surprised to know ’Cos caves have been common this series of the show But this one is more important than most It might even be housing some sort of ghost.”
The Architect: “And that must conclude our promulgation of information, concomitant to circumstances appertaining to spoiler containment.”
Great Dragon: “He means, we’re done.”
Seeker: “My head hurts. See you again, next week, losers!”
Great Dragon: “Oi!”
[ The Seeker wanders off muttering under his breath something about how these previews have jumped the shark… ]
Merlin "The Diamond Of The Day, Part One” airs on BBC One on Saturday 22 December at 7.55pm
Dave is a TV and film journalist who specializes in the science fiction and fantasy genres. He's written books about film posters and post-apocalypses, alongside writing for SFX Magazine for many years.
