Downton Abbey helped me through the toughest times, but The Grand Finale feels like the perfect time to wrap things up

Downton Abbey is coming to an end, and I feel surprisingly OK with it. To say the franchise has got me through some hard times is an understatement. Just a few months before the first movie came out in 2019, I'd moved back in with my mum and step-dad after my seven-year relationship ended suddenly. As the break-up was happening, I lost my grandfather unexpectedly. I'll spare you the gory specifics but looking back, it's fair to say I was feeling pretty untethered during that period of my life.

At the time, I was a freelance writer, and in need of some serious retail therapy one Monday, I blew a raspberry at my desk and went to my local shopping mall with my family. Inside – I'll never forget it – was a huge billboard for the Downton Abbey film, complete with the tagline: "The cinematic event of the year."

"Bold," I laughed to my nan, "in a year where Avengers: Endgame is coming out?" But the confidence of the ad stuck with me. Curious (and in awe of the audacity), I used my Odeon Limitless card – another heaven-sent thing in that woeful era – a couple of weeks later to see what all the fuss was about. It wouldn't cost me anything, right? If I didn't like it, there was no harm done. So I scheduled an unhinged double-bill of Jennifer Lopez's Hustlers and Downton Abbey and the rest, as they say, was history.

Despite not having any idea who was who (and spoiling some major plot points from the show for myself), I was immediately taken in by these well-to-do aristocrats and their staff, who all seemed to be very fond of one another, despite their differences in lifestyle and social ranking. It was delightfully bonkers; one minute the downstairs lot were fretting about whether or not they've got time to polish the silver before the King and Queen pop round, the next Allen Leach's Branson was thwarting an assassination attempt against the monarchs. Combine all that with fabulous costume design and a bunch of sassy one-liners from Dame Maggie Smith, and it was a perfect distraction.

Desperate for more, I started the series the following day – only nine years too late – and was more than happy to admit that it wasn't the stuffy period drama I'd written it off as but a silly, sweet soap opera with a cracking theme tune and a whole host of loveable characters.

Family bonding

It didn't take me long to devour the whole lot. With real-life events providing the backdrop for each season, urging the characters to adapt to their quickly changing world, the show was packed with memorable moments, from a Turkish diplomat suffering a fatal heart attack in Mary's bed and Lord Grantham splattering everyone in blood when his stomach ulcer burst at the dinner table, to Edith ignoring '20s' gender roles and becoming a publisher. Don't even get me started on Isis, the dog, being killed off. There was romance! Scandal! Even (human) death, and as my attachment to these characters grew, my heart became a little less numb. I felt stuff, for the first time in a long time. By the time Downton Abbey: A New Era came out in 2022, I was whole again.

I don't know if I realized it then, but I think the fact that it was about a family that all lived under one roof helped soothe me, too. I was a little embarrassed to have taken over my mum and step-dad's spare room at the age of 28 – but here were three generations shacked up together. They ate breakfast and dinner together every day (not that my family did that, but still) like it was the most normal thing in the world, and it felt validating to see.

When I wasn't watching the show, I was checking the release date of the movie's official companion book and eyeing up Downton Abbey Cluedo (no one gets killed, I feel I should clarify – you have to identify a thief). I used to daydream about taking a tour round Highclere Castle while sipping tea from the 'Ladyship' mug my enabling friend gave me as a gift or sink hours into YouTube, watching cast interviews and giggling away as if I genuinely knew these people.

There's just something about Downton Abbey that invites you in in that way, you see, and makes you feel like you're a part of the family. The other day I was rewatching the trailer for the new sequel Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale and scrolled to the comments section, and was struck by how many people were sharing their personal connection to the franchise; one man used to watch it with his mother, others discovered it with their loved ones during COVID, one woman comforted herself with the show after her son died.

I've never watched Downton Abbey with anyone else, but it never felt like I was watching it alone. "Your friendship has never been more important to all of us," Hugh Bonneville's Robert Crawley tells those closest to him in the teaser for The Grand Finale. You can say that again.

Time to say goodbye

Unlike those who tuned in to its premiere on ITV back in 2010, I've only had Downton Abbey in my life for six years – I've had much less time with it than most. That doesn't mean, however, that I'm not ready to bid it farewell.

I've not seen Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale yet but judging by the trailer, it's largely about three things: Lord Grantham putting Mary in charge of the estate, the family coming to terms with the death of Violet Crawley – primed to be a tear-jerking subplot following Smith's passing in 2024 – and Mary trying to navigate life as a newly divorced woman. I've obviously never been made the proprietor of a lavish manor (I write about Marvel fan theories for a living), but I know what it's like to find yourself unexpectedly single and lose a loved one. I have firsthand experience of juggling both at the same time, in fact, and it's quite eerie, really, to think that the final film in the franchise is going to tackle themes that echo what I was going through when I first fell in love with Downton.

I'm a very different person now than I was in 2019. I'm no longer in my parents' spare room and have met someone who has broadened my horizons more than I could've ever imagined, encouraging me on all sorts of worldly adventures (I wouldn't have the time to binge a six-season and three-movie series these days if I tried). Maybe Downton Abbey knows I'm finally strong enough to be without it.

Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale is out now in theaters. For more on what to watch, check out the rest of our Big Screen Spotlight series.