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  1. Entertainment
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50 Astonishing Movie Mockbusters

Features
By Matt Looker published 12 July 2013

Cheap, cheesy knock-offs made on bargain-bin budgets

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Sir Arthur Conan Doyles Sherlock Holmes (2010)

Most Blatant Attempt To Confuse People: It's just like that other Sherlock Holmes film, but this one has Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's name on it, so it must be better.

Probably Wouldn't Happen In The Proper Film: Where to begin? The giant octopus attack or the T-Rex or the fire-breathing dragon? Or how about the fact that the villain of this film is Sherlock's brother Thorpe (wuh?), who is aided by Miss Ivory, an android that he created and who is also his lover? And we thought Guy Ritchie took liberties with the character.

The Land That Time Forgot (2009)

Most Blatant Attempt To Confuse People: Well, even though it was released to capitalise on the success of Land Of The Lost, it is actually an adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' famous 1918 novel whereas the Will Ferrell movie is based on a popular kids' show from the 70s. So really, which is the more respectable?

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Probably Wouldn't Happen In The Proper Film: Any of the scenes involving Nazis.

The Possession Of Gail Bowers (2006)

Most Blatant Attempt To Confuse People: Once you have 'Exorcism' in the title, who cares if it's of Gail Bowers, Emily Rose, Regan MacNeil or anyone else.

Probably Wouldn't Happen In The Proper Film: Bearing no real relevance to the rest of the plot, Gail's best friend takes a shower to provide some standard B-movie titillation. She then proceeds to rip her own face off, and it’s never really mentioned again throughout the rest of film.

Grimms Snow White (2012)

Most Blatant Attempt To Confuse People: Yet again, an example of having the original title, but adding an extra air of prestige by referencing the author too.

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Probably Wouldn't Happen In The Proper Film: Dwarves are replaced with elves, giant lizard monsters frequently gobble people up and - in the most shocking deviation from its template - Snow White has BLONDE hair. Say wha-?

Almighty Thor (2011)

Most Blatant Attempt To Confuse People: Do they need anything else other than Thor and a big hammer?

Probably Wouldn't Happen In The Proper Film: At one point without his magnificent Mjölnir, Thor instead runs into battle brandishing an Uzi. Because who needs Norse mythological weapons when you've got a handheld machine gun?

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Paranormal Entity (2009)

Most Blatant Attempt To Confuse People: Beside the title? The grainy amateurish night-vision footage on the front cover certainly looks familiar.

Probably Wouldn't Happen In The Proper Film: In one scene, the woman of the house is seen floating in her room, naked and covered in blood, while an invisible demon has sex with her. That's certainly more eventful than waiting 20 minutes to see a cupboard door slam shut by itself.

The Da Vinci Treasure (2006)

Most Blatant Attempt To Confuse People: Referencing the same renaissance artist but replacing 'code' with 'treasure', because gold jewels are more exciting than jumbled up letters.

Probably Wouldn't Happen In The Proper Film: The Shroud of Turin is revealed to be a treasure map that Leonardo Da Vinci created to act as a cover for an invisible holographic cryptograph, which needs to then be viewed with a set of 3D decoder glasses that Da Vinci also happened to invent. Dan Brown sure missed a trick here.

Battle Of Los Angeles (2011)

Most Blatant Attempt To Confuse People: It's the exact same title, barring a couple of grammatical differences.

Probably Wouldn't Happen In The Proper Film: After encountering a young World War II pilot who claims to have been abducted by aliens in the Bermuda Triangle in 1942, he eventually reveals himself to be an android built by the aliens and tries to kill everyone in sight. Aliens, androids, the Bermuda Triangle... it all makes perfect sense when you think about it.

Snakes On A Train (2006)

Most Blatant Attempt To Confuse People: Train/plane... this could have been the title of the sequel.

Probably Wouldn't Happen In The Proper Film: The snakes are supernatural, hatching inside the stomach of a woman placed under a Mayan curse at the start of the film. Eventually, the woman herself ends up transforming into a giant snake and eats the train whole. Man, we bet that would make Samuel L. Jackson mad .

Transmorphers (2007)

Most Blatant Attempt To Confuse People: That title. Oh, and the fact that it's about shape-changing alien robots landing on Earth.

Probably Wouldn't Happen In The Proper Film: Halfway through this story about the human race rebelling against their new evil robot alien overlords, the hero discovers that - TWIST - he is himself an android, built with human feelings. These mockbusters love a good android, don't they?

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Matt Looker
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