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The Lords Of Salem, The Lords Of Salem (2012)
The Band: The Lords are misleadingly named, since they’re actually a coven of centuries-old witches. And the “Of Salem” bit was appended by a DJ. Still, their music speaks for itself.
Greatest Hit: Anyone who’s ever heard them is dead now, which probably isn’t the best sales tactic.
Unnamed band, Eurotrip
The Band: Fronted by Matt Damon, the unnamed band who play at Scotty’s (Scott Mechlowicz) graduation party are, well, exactly the kind of rock n roll band you’d expect to find playing at a high school graduation party. Except they’ve got Matt Damon on stage with them.
Greatest Hit: Scotty Doesn’t Know, a vindictive little ditty about how Scotty’s girlfriend is cheating on him, is aggravatingly catchy.
Figrin DAn And The Modal Nodes, Star Wars (1977)
The Band: Yup, the Cantina Band from Star Wars have an actual name, and this is it. The individual members have names, too: along with Figrin D’an, there’s Nalan Cheel, Tedn Dahai, Doikk Na’ta, Ickabel G’ont, Tech Mo’r, and Lirin Car’n. Though the new sequels are probably about to wipe them all out of existence by rebooting the extended universe.
Greatest Hit: A single containing the two tunes played by Figrin and co was actually released – but the tracks had kind of unoriginal titles, to wit: Cantina Band and Cantina Band No 2.
Marvin Berry And The Starlighters, Back To The Future(1985)
The Band: A rock n roll band booked to play at the Enchantment Under The Sea prom at Hill Valley high school, Marvin Berry And The Starlighters were unexpectedly joined by one Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) for the performance of a lifetime. If you squint.
Greatest Hit: Johnny B. Goode. Obviously.
The Oneders, That Thing You Do! (1996)
The Band: A play on “Wonders” that far too many people failed to spot, The Oneders’ name turns out to be a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, because they end up a one-hit wonder. Aww.
Greatest Hit: Well, there’s only one: That Thing You Do.
The Stains, Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (1982)
The Band: An all-female punk band who got signed before they had even really learned to play, The Stains are the epitome of fake it til you make it.
Greatest Hit: Waste Of Time, which is exactly as bratty as you’d want it to be.
ABCD And The EFGHI JKLM NOPQR STUVWYXZ, Voyage Of The Rock Aliens (1984)
The Band: Played by real life band Rhema, the aliens in question end up bringing their electro-rock stylings to Earth after their ship’s computer detected intelligent life and decided to land.
Greatest Hit: The aliens won the Battle of the Bands at the Heidi High Cotillion with 80s-tastic disco stomper Let’s Dance Tonight.
Unnamed band, Dance Of The Dead (2008)
The Band: It’s not surprising that this band of high school stoners didn’t get booked to play at their prom: for one thing, they haven’t even given themselves a name, and for another, their music is far too aggressive for a middle-aged prom committee to ‘get’. Turns out, though, that the undead really dig it, making the band invaluable during the zombie apocalypse.
Greatest Hit: Their cover of Somebody’s Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight, which turned out to be kind of prophetic.
Wyld Stallyns, Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
The Band: Either the greatest band of all time or an unlistenable noise, depending where in space and time you are, Wyld Stallyns has the totally excellent lineup of Bill S. Preston Esq (Alex Winter) and Ted “Theodore” Logan (Keanu Reeves). Plus sometimes Death on the bass.
Greatest Hit: They’re probably best known for their air guitar.
The Hong Kong Cavaliers, The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension (1984)
The Band: Buckaroo Banzai’s backing band, the Hong Kong Cavaliers, are more than just musicians: they’re scientists, and they saved the world from murderous aliens. Does that make them cool, or a bit nerdy? We’re learning towards super cool.
Greatest Hit: Let’s be honest, the pop charts seem sort of irrelevant when you’re busy saving the world.
