Scarlett Johansson
Who she’d replace: Nicola McLean. They’re both well known for their, um, ‘assets’.
Bushtucker Trial: Scarlett has to eat a jar of live scorpions while Ant and Dec perform cover versions of her Tom Waits cover versions. To spur her on, an eternal loop of Eight Legged Freaks plays on a plasma screen in front of her face.
Lindsay Lohan
Who she’d replace: Lindsay's currently more famous for her relationship than her career. So, Carly Zucker then.
Bucktucker Trial: Lindsay has a backpack full of rabid jackals strapped to her face, before being rolled down the highest hill in the jungle. When she reaches the bottom, she has to eat a vomit sandwich. To spur her on, an eternal loop of any of her films play on a plasma screen in front of her face.
Sarah Jessica Parker
Who she’d replace: Aging lust object, so... Dani Behr.
Bucktucker Trial: Sarah is forced to eat every hat ever worn by anyone in Sex And The City, including that massive one Samantha wore in the bit in the film where she was perving on the bloke in the shower or whatever. To spur her on, an eternal loop of Striking Distance plays on a plasma screen in front of her face.
Tom Cruise
Who he’d replace: Tom Cruise flew in a fighter plane in Top Gun. George Takei flew in a spaceship in Star Trek. What?
Bushtucker Trial: Tom crawls through a tunnel filled with sewer rats, snakes and pictures of Nicole Kidman. He copes surprisingly well, equating the experience with walking down the red carpet. To spur him on, an eternal loop of Far And Away plays on a plasma screen in front of his face.
Terrence Howard
Who’d she’d replace: Like Simon Webb, Howard's dabbled with music. Unlike Simon Webb, Howard was in Iron Man.
Bushtucker Trial: Tez is strapped to a chair while his agent shows him all the scripts he’s turned down on his behalf, including Iron Man 2. If he makes it though fifteen scripts without punching his agent in the face, he wins. To spur him on, an eternal loop of Iron Man 2 plays on a plasma screen in front of him face.
Helen Mirren
Who she’d replace: Kick out the other first lady of Britain - Rantzen.
Bushtucker Trial: Dame Helen has to recreate her Caligula scenes using only Ant, Dec and a bin-bag full of kangaroo genitalia. To spur her on, an eternal loop of Raising Helen plays on a plasma screen in front of her face.
