Secret santa gifts for Kratos, Mario, and more

For it is in giving that we receive...or something like that

Words: Ryan Taljonick on December 23, 2012

Secret santa gifts for Kratos, Mario, and more

Spread that holiday cheer

'Tis the holiday season, that wonderful time of year where grandma knits you a horrendous sweater and mom talks about your obsession with "those darn video games." Gift getting (and, according to some, gift giving) is one of the greatest parts of Christmas/Hanukkah/similar celebratory dates. So we found ourselves wondering: If we were to host a secret santa party for video game characters, what would be the perfect gifts (under $20!) to get them? Here's what we came up with.
Solid Snake – Nicotine patch
Cloud Strife – Hair gel
Johnny Sasaki – Pepto-Bismol
Kratos – Throat lozenge
Glados – Plush companion cube
Pac-Man – Dentures
Donkey Kong – Cheesy piano tie
Bowser – Turtle Wax
Bayonetta – Shampoo (Pert Plus, specifically)
Kirby – Breath mints
Max Payne – A new Hawaiian shirt
Dante from DmC – White hair dye
Marcus Fenix – Shakeweight
The cast of Far Cry 3 – Beer Pong table
Sweet Tooth – Truck Nuts
Vaas – Dictionary (for finding the definition of insanity)
Johnny Cage – A Mirror (that laughs at you)
Ethan Mars – A copy of It's a Wonderful Life
Link – Bigger wallet
Mario – Cake
Lara Croft – BBC's Planet Earth DVD complete set
Chuck Greene – Duct tape
Gordon Freeman – Eyewear retainer
Happy holidays

It'd be easy to come up with gift ideas for just about any video game character--so we're wondering, what would you get some of your favorites? Let us know in the comments below!

For more holiday cheer, check out our game-free gift guide and 10 tips for holiday shoppers.
Keep going with these great galleries

Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PC, PS Vita, 3DS, Wii, Wii U, iPhone, DS, iPad, Android, Mac, Windows Phone 7, Arcade, PSP, Dreamcast, PS1, Game Boy, Saturn, GameCube, Sega CD, GBA, SNES, Genesis, Turbografx, NES, Xbox, N64

Topics:

christmas, Holiday

19 comments

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ironrafael - December 29, 2012 10:05 p.m.

Thought santa would give a bottle of Scotch for Max Payne.
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stephanhoefer - December 27, 2012 2:23 a.m.

Isaac Clarke: Band-Aid brand Band-aids & Ozonol Princess Peach: mace (Pepper Spray) Sweet Tooth: Anger Management Spyro the Dragon: Barbeque Crash Bandicoot: Trampoline or Ritalin Lara Croft: a Map Turok: Bigger Guns Scorpion: YMCA 1 Year Membership Rayman: Prosthetic Limbs
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oryanbelt - December 26, 2012 12:22 p.m.

Handsome Jack- His own personal 'New-U Machine' The Cast of Left 4 Dead- First Aid Kits, pain pills, ammo, etc Master Hand and Crazy Hand- A pair of giant mittens
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nikhagen - December 25, 2012 9:04 p.m.

Lets get Captain Price a cardboard cut out of Soap so he can relive some memories lol
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cheryljansen8 - December 25, 2012 4:09 p.m.

Many of us do not believe that he could work and profit from the Internet. I personally, at first I did not believe it . but when I made $80 /hr I knew it was not difficult. you wont forgive yourself if you don't check it out...ChristmasGift7.Mel7.CoM
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MolokoVeck - December 24, 2012 11:38 a.m.

Love the Link gift.
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savvas50 - December 24, 2012 11:34 a.m.

The cake should go to Shell
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BladedFalcon - December 24, 2012 10:19 a.m.

Wouldn't Glados prefer a new test subject she could torture and try to kill? XD Anyway, this was fantastic, and pretty damn funny!
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savvas50 - December 24, 2012 11:32 a.m.

Under $20? where?
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BladedFalcon - December 24, 2012 12:12 p.m.

China! :D *Runs the hell away from the inevitable wrath of the politically correct society... And the Chinese.*
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LordzOfChaos - December 24, 2012 12:22 a.m.

Some of these made me laugh pretty hard, well done
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J-Fid - December 23, 2012 6:28 p.m.

The Dante gift is hilarious.
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shawksta - December 23, 2012 1:57 p.m.

This was brilliant, some of them caught me off guard and just lol'd
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MightyWumbo - December 23, 2012 12:44 p.m.

lol good article
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scott-david-betson - December 23, 2012 12:19 p.m.

you missed Nathan Drake and hed possibly want a map to El "goddamn" Dorado
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jackthemenace - December 23, 2012 10:43 a.m.

Nice, did you come up with all of these yourself? I mean, admittedly, a couple of them I thought were a little farfetched, but most- especially towards the start- I really enjoyed. Also, it's nice to see content on a Sunday, so thanks for that ^_^
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