Yes, we know - these games don’t really meet the criteria. But we thought they were worth including, if only to reduce the likelihood of comments such as “You didn’t mention Game X - article is FAIL.”
Crüe Ball - 1992
Critical Gush: “With better use of its hair metal license, Crüe Ball could have found something to both address the overall poor presentation as well as add a certain level of infamy the Mötley Crüe name deserves.” – Sega-16
What was Motley Crüe up to in ‘92’? Not much, considering that they didn’t have a lead singer and the public’s growing disinterest in glam metal. Whatever the case, they couldn’t be bothered to appear in their very own pinball game, gifted to them by the historically generous Electronic Arts, and hosting duties were instead left to group spokesman, Alister Fiend.
However, even Alister’s appearance was scarce, although the game does feature skulls and combinations of words like “ROLL” and “ROCK” and “BANGER” and “HEAD” which we couldn’t even begin to decipher. Three of the Crüe’s least unlistenable songs are all you have to know the game was affiliated with the band, albeit run through a Genesis for that tinny, digitized sound the kids couldn’t get enough of back in the day.
Ed Hunter - 1999
Critical Shred: “Ed Hunter's pathetically limited (not to mention mind-numbingly repetitive),” - PC Zone
Yet another instance of an inadequate mascot, but at least Iron Maiden’s poster dignitary, Eddie the Head, played an integral role to the actual game. Your goal in this dumbass on-rails shooter was to eventually rescue Ed from levels based on album art, including the depths of hell. The band opted not to appear alongside Ed - but who cares? Ed is easily the most iconic member of the group, and we wouldn’t recognize a living member of Iron Maiden if he was kicking us in the stomach while humming “Run to the Hills”.
Above: All that HUD and no number of the beast - what gives?
To its credit, Ed Hunter came as part of a three-disc set, two of which featured 20 “Best of” tracks, picked by Maiden fans, which were fully customizable within the game. Rock on, ya’ll.
Sept 11, 2008
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