41. PES 2013 Pro Evolution Soccer
As seen in Missed FIFA Connections on Craigslist:
Me: white-clad soccer player that looks a bit like the male version of M.I.A. You: footie boy in blue with popping leg veins. We were both chasing after the ball on the field--then our eyes met, and it felt like time stood still. Now, Im chasing after your heart.
40. Freakyforms Deluxe
Besides the chintzy color palette and rudimentary animal (and, for some reason, submarine) designs, there's something else distinctly wrong with this picture. What, in the name of all that is holy, is wrong with the capital F in the title? He looks like a creeper that's stoned out of his mind, and were it not for "reakyf," he'd be sexually assaulting that open-mouthed o.
39. Blades of Time
Foreground: Stereotypical video game vixen dressed like she's trying to ride the wave of titillation wrought by the original Tomb Raider. Background: A hideously ugly ogre with an indiscernible gender, and the armor from the Unreal Engine 4 demo. Box art: bad.
38. Sledge Hammer
Clearly, the artist poured five minutes of labor into this riveting rendition of vehicular mayhem. So we dont have the heart to tell him that he drew a truck and not, in fact, a sledgehammer.
37. Code of Princess
Were not sure what this grammatically bankrupt game name means, and the box art gives us very little to go on. So heres what we can surmise: This Princess dons gauntlets, but cant stand wearing armor below the waist. Her timid expression shows a clear anxiety, either of something cool out-of-frame or the overly ornate hilt of her sword. And the games logo has been meticulously placed above her breastplate, to make it look at a glance like shes topless underneath. Seems like the makings of a winning heroine to us.
36. Living Legends: Ice Rose
What if you paid your graphic designers more than minimum wage?
35. Alan Wakes American Nightmare
Alan Wake's so afraid of the dark, he feels the need to brandish a flashlight during the day. He also seems completely indifferent to the three floating hands clawing at his feet.
34. 007 Legends
This dapper gentleman, who barely looks like Daniel Craig even though Activision mustve paid thousands for his likeness, has some options. He can: A) Pose for a hover-hand photo with a gold mannequin, B) Drive a floating automobile over ice, or C) Have a friendly chat with a man sporting some sick-nasty grillz. Sure, it makes sense to diehard Bond fans--but for those unfortunate souls with no exposure to 007, this box art means nothing.
33. Poptropica Adventures
We really, really want to know how much someone got paid to draw this. It looks like the artist ripped off Don Hertzfeldt, Ape Escape, and the stick figures from a third grade art class. AND WHERE ARE THOSE GIRLS' NECKS?!
32. Resistance: Burning Skies
Okay, we get that this is a dead alien who's just been axed to death by this "Riley" fellow. So why does it look like this deceased Chimera's trying to pull off a sexy pose, with seductive eyes transfixed on the camera and tongue enticingly stuck out? And if it IS dead, how is it still holding that rifle perfectly upright?