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Goat Simulator Achievements and Quests guide

Rymdskepp i Rymden

In the farmhouse garage there is a glowing blue beacon on the workbench. Grab it with your tongue and take it to the crop circles in the field the left of the goat fighting arena. You’ll see that there is already one pole with a beacon attached to it in the crop circle, so just walk up to the bare pole with your beacon which will automatically attach itself to the pole. Now wait for your ride to come and get you and jump into the tractor beam. To get back to Earth, just do a few flips and you’ll respawn in the field.

Try Hard

Find all 30 of the Goat Simulator Golden Goat Statues using our guide! That last stipulation is definitely part of the prerequisite...

Alexander Goatstafsson

Head to the goat fighting arena and let the combat commence! Emerge victorious in all 4 rounds to unlock this achievement and hulk out. Seriously, your goat will be so beefy it'll have to be reclassified as a cow.

Goat Queen

When you discover Goat Castle, sit on the throne and wait until your goat respawns outside wearing the mask of the goat queen to get this achievement.

Mattress Madness

For this one, you have to bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds. There just so happens to be an area at the top floor of the construction site that has mattresses on both the floor and the ceiling. I don't know what the dirty hobos that visit the place at night are doing here, but just try not to lick anything...

Mile High Club

Climb the crane and head to the end of the boom arm. As the hang glider approaches, initiate slow mo, jump towards it and lick! You'll get the achievement if you successfully manage to lick it.

Dodge This

Grab the boulder of death you left entertaining guests at the garden party and drag it to the field. Once you spy the redneck driving around in tiny, pointless circles, pop the boulder on the track and put an end to his Formula 1 dreams once and for all.

Congratulations! You are now the Liege Lord of all goats everywhere. Turn off your machine, go out into the world, headbutt things and lick people! Though if you get arrested for lewd behaviour, we don’t know each other...

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Shabana was born looking like a girl wearing a Pikachu hoodie, so when such things became popular, she fitted right in. She writes guides, reviews and features for GR+ when she isn't screaming at Dark Souls 2 on YouTube.