The Top 7... Game-Changing Cheats

Let's be honest - the original Turok games have not aged well.

No, let's be brutally honest - the original Turok games look like shit. Blurry, blocky polygons of shit wrapped in thick, foggy layers of more shit. Vague dinosaur-shaped things pop out suddenly from the murk, then you shoot some faded colored pixels at them, then you see a crude animation of what's meant to be blood or maybe more shit, then you remember why you stopped playing games from 1997, then you turn off your Nintendo 64 or your Pentium 133 and then you cry.

But cheer up, bucko, because your nostalgic memories can still be salvaged! "Pen and Ink" mode, available in the first three games, transforms an outdated mess into a crisp, clean and strangely hallucinatory trip through geometric wonderland.

Each Turok game has a clearly visible cheats menu. Experience "Pen and Ink" mode by plugging in the codes below:

Turok 1: Dinosaur Hunter - "DLKTDR"
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil - "IGOTABFA"
Turok 3: Shadow of Oblivion - Cougar, Horse, Elk, Salmon, Cougar, Hawk

How do you improve on a game soover-the-top in its violence, a counter at the bottom of the screen must tally your bloodshed in thousands of gallons? Go into the options menu, switch the offensive liquid from "red" to dazzling, candy-colored "mixed" and pretend the endless slaughter is actually an ambitious art project. This game isn't rotting our brains - it's enriching our creativity! That gore splattered across the wall isn't gross - it'sa Jackson Pollock painting! Edutastic.

Next up... beer goggles!